Friday, October 31, 2008


The trial came to an end yesterday and Charles "Chucky" Taylor was found guilty. Jury began deliberating on Wednesday, October 31, 2008. It took them a day.

Story from Miami Herald.

Read all Mumbletomyneighbor posts regarding this epic event for the full backstory (rap track too!) here.
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64 Track All Vocal Video Version of MJ's Thriller!

François Macré, before and after the 350 hour transformation.

You may not have heard of one of Bjork's weird creations, Medulla, which debuted in 2004. The thing that made it stand out and forced me to listen it (once and once only) was that it was comprised entirely of vocal tracks. Anything that sounded like instrumentation was a human voice. It brought me back to the amazement I had after first seeing that guy from Police Academy make all those different sounds in his stand-up act.

Well, François Macré, a crazy frenchman with waaaaay too much time on his hands (took him 350 hours) has recreated Michael Jackson's amazing, Thriller. It's one thing to create a song with the idea of vocals only in mind, you set limits. Here, he takes the complex tune close to its original level, using 64 tracks, a computer, a mic and a little reverb and chorus for effects. The cool thing is each track is layed out on the screen in succession and when that track is utilized video of him making the sound shows in the square of the represented track. I enjoyed it, maybe you will to. Video after the jump. Can you find the track where he's merely eating crackers? Happy Halloween, kids....

His MySpace page, here.
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008

You can bring a cat to water....

Skippomac and I have come to the conclusion that the previous two posts were way too long for our reader's very short attention spans. It is for this reason after the jump I have posted a video that is only 9 seconds after the jump. It involves a cat, a large pot of water and gravity. We'll call this an experiment for those that forgot to take their adderall today, you know who you are.

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Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Mr. T : Born Without A Library Voice

My social calendar was BOOKED this weekend. But the weather was horrible and I still don't have heat and it was raining, and you know, me being made of sugar, I stayed home. So what did I do instead? Watched Rocky I-V. Again. For like the 30th time.

I came to the realization that Rocky I and II is the most epic romantic melodrama of all time. I cried. Only after I realized I was out of vodka, but the tears were real, nonetheless. I have never seen a love as paramount to that of me and my Old Lady as that of Rocky and Adrian. "Old Lady", that's a shout out to you, thank me later...

But more importantly, I also realized that Mr. T is the most amazing actor in the whole series of Rocky movies. Mickey is awesome, but that's just Mickey being Mickey. Paulie's great too, but his best line is in Rocky 4 when they arrive at their housing quarters in the rural, snow covered Soviet Union. The Russian says, "Like you requested" (in reference to the shack in the middle of nowhere) and Paulie says, "You requested this dump? Whadda you plan on doing here? Growing reindeer or something?"

Execution = perfect.

But nothing made me fear the consequences of boxing like the fear I felt from Mr. T aka James "Clubber" Lang. So mysterious and scary! Mr. T fascinated me so I decided to do some research into the man the myth and the legend, this what I found. Oh yeah, and links to superfast streaming Rocky I - III in their entirety after the jump.

Laurence Tureaud (Mr. T) was born May 21, 1952 in the projects of Chicago where he also grew up. Being a decent football player, he was the recipient of a scholarship to Prairie View A & M (all black sister school of Texas A & M) and was quickly thrown out after a years time. Mr. decided to try his hand at the military for a stint and returned unharmed (he was military police, he loved positions of authority and power, obviously).

He easily received work as a bouncer upon coming home. This is where he came up with the idea of all the gold chains. As these were often "left" in the bar by drunk patrons or those who lost them in the ensuing melee during a Mr. T escort to the parking lot, he kept them around his neck "for safekeeping." If they wanted them back, all they had to do was ask. No one ever did. I mean, what kind of bar has patrons who enter wearing gold chains an inch think, drunkenly lose them and never return to say,

Patron: "Hey, anybody seen a $10,000 gold chain lying around?"

Btender: "I don't know, go check lost and found."

Patron: "Where's lost and found?"

Btender: "You see that big guy wearing all the gold chains that looks like he eats badasses for lunch? It's right there. Oh yeah, and don't come in the bar anymore, or he'll soon be wearing a gold teeth necklace that looks reminiscient of your smile."

That's a badass. He got the idea for the mohawk from watching a documentary on the African Mandinka Warriors. (they had mohawks too)

He parlayed this menacing persona into a bodyguarding business that netted him $3,000 a day and quickly built up his gold chain collection to the level where it would take him an hour just to put them all on. He cleaned them ultrasonically every night which must've taken forever. Sometimes he would sleep in the heavy, shiny stuff that was valued at about $300,000 so that he could "see how my ancestors, who were slaves, felt." Ok, Mr. T, you work out the irony in that. Oh yeah, he did this while sleeping on a cloud of titties. Juuuuust like Africa!

After Rocky, he was given many awesome roles in shows such as: Silver Spoons (played Ricky Stratton's bodyguard, his agent thought it would give him acting cred), lost out on a role in Beastmaster, had a spot in Penitentiary 2 (cause 1 was suuuch a success),
his biggest role as Sergeant Bosco B.A. Baracus (one of my favorite shows growing up), a Mister T animated series, and a motivational video called, "Be Somebody...or Be Sombody's Fool!" (yes the exclamation mark is part of the official title and features everyones favorite meth slut gone mainstream, Fergie as a nubile young meth slut) This video offered up many pieces of advice to youngster's in dealing with the problems of the everyday world, such as, dressing fashionably ("Everbody's gotta wear clothes, If you dont, you'll get arrested." Thanks T.), drugs and peer pressure (a kid finds a beer and some cigarettes in a trash can and convinces everyone else to partake, a Mexican Fred Savage says no) and how to pass off what most would consider tripping while casually walking through the breakdancing. (starts at 3:03)

He thought of everything. Next Mother's Day. Don't buy your moms a gift, just perform this rap entitled "Treat Your Mother Right (Treat Her Right)":

Whole motivational video is here in 6 parts, well worth watching.

Mr. T then went on to star in a number of commercials where his career basically tanked.

Oh yeah, how could I forget...he was also a pro-wrestler and Hulk Hogan's tag team partner in the first fuckin' Wrestle Mania! Some journalist I am! That's pretty awesome, though.

For the ladies out there, Mr. T is single and lives on a 20 acre ranch in sunny California. Be warned though, he is uber-christian. He said after Hurricane Katrina, God came to him and said he could never wear the gold chains again. Which he dutifully obeys, unless its for a Snicker's commercial with the catchy slogan of "Get Some Nuts!" (there's that exclamation mark again) or a World of Warcraft commercial with the catchphrase "I'm Mr. T and I'm a Night Elf Mohawk!" (punctuation added for effect)

So I suggest polishing off that dusty box of condoms you were saving for when you moved out of your mother's house, call up the girl that touched you on the arm in the fifth grade and settle down for a romantic lovefest of sweaty men beating the shit out of each other with Rocky I - III. She'll cry, probably from having to spend 6 hours with you, but I guarantee you you will get some action, from the TV screen, anyways.

Rocky I

Rocky II

Rocky III

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Who knew the Taliban liked Andy Warhol?

I am not even joking when I say that Mumbles
looked alot like the guy on the left in law school

In keeping with my theme this week of things that creep me out, I stumbled across this very strange collection of pictures from awhile ago (courtesy of an old post from The Culture Spoon via instapundit). When the Taliban fled Kandahar in late-2001 one of the things left behind were these portraits they had taken at local photo "studios" but hadn't yet picked up. Freelance photographer Thomas Dvorak found and purchased them from the Kandahar photographers who claimed that most of the subjects were probably dead anyway.

What is truly bizarre is how amazingly effeminate the photos are. I suppose this might be partially explained by an amateur photographer who was ham-handedly trying to create some atmosphere or maybe had a suicidal sense of humor, perhaps the subjects might not have fully appreciated the whole scene. Perhaps the same photographer with the same equipment could have done equally disturbing photos of folks from rural Americana. But, I mean, even given some latitude for cultural differences and some undoubted cherry-picking of the most extreme examples these are REALLY effeminate. Many have eyeliner, carry flowers (and guns), hold hands and stand in front of photos of some random Swiss chalets or something. I would kick a photographer's ass if he pulled this crap on me, and I don't live in a broken culture ruled by gun-wielding religious fanatics who kill homosexuals as a matter of policy (despite characterizations put forth by certain kooky elements of American counter-culture). Perhaps there is a specific custom which explains them which I would love to learn if someone can share it.

Anyway, enjoy --or be creeped out by-- these strange artifacts of one of the strangest failed national social experiments in modern times (choice selections after the break and check out the whole collection here):

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MTV Posts Every Music Video Ever? BULLSHIT.

Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle. MTV finally did something that gave them some value to me. Gizmodo reported earlier today that MTV put up all their archived videos, including the MTV Unplugged sessions. I got on there and looked around and couldn't even find Thom Yorke/UNKLE's A Rabbit In your Headlights. Although I believe this video was banned in the US because the realistic looking of a car plowing through a man, (head on at the 1:38 mark) if your gonna make a claim like that, they should at least have Radiohead related videos. Maybe they meant they Posted every SHITTY music video. Non-Shitty Video after the jump.

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A Real Thanks to Give

America is a weird beast. I am the first to admit this. I get scared of it and worried for it and hear my heart beat a different button for it. I worry and scream when it hurts and feel like it is worrying and screaming now. But unfortunately, I am retardedly patriotic. I mean that in the deepest sense of retarded patriotism. Just like I love in the most retardest sense of religion. I have no logic to support me, i just believe.

It is for this reason I give thanks. I have had a deep, dark past few months. Trouble has come knocking in a way that I cannot believe. I have felt shat on and lonely in all of lonelinesses glory. I gave up and drank my way to yesterday, hoping I would get there in two pieces, one being my father. I hoped so bad. I prayed the day before thanksgiving. That was too late. He was already taken care of. Regardless of me and my prayers, he was ok. It was because of his sister. A different type of angel. One that doesn't pray, but one that does, do.

It is for her that I am thankful. Thank you Shari. Thank you.

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Bizarre, Creepy and Sexy Halloween Costumes

You have to love those guys at, they really have the ridiculous Halloween costume photos, down! A couple of years ago they did a review of the weird Japanese shit that's out there (if you've ever heard of their porn, their costumes are weirder, like the one above) I have taken the time to peruse all types of sites offering the bizarre, the vintage and the sexy.

I'll start with the bizarre cause they are the most entertaining. Then we'll give a brief few seconds to's article regarding some nutjob who is obsessed with old-old costumes. Or photos of people wearing them. And some of them are creepy. Lastly, I'll cover a few of the costumes and sites of the sexier set, you know, for all of you who have girlfriends (real or imaginary).


Skippomac's costume this year

More photos and links after the jump.

The old, "My head has been digested by a pig" costume

Japanese people really, really love hotdogs and any way to fashion something that looks like a penis hanging between your legs.

I think this is called, "The Dick Cycle" costume


Hey, can you tell we're in Germany? Of course you can, they love their racists costumes. Clowns are black....

...and so are cavemen! Didn't ya know?

You know Siemens, the large german cell phone manufacturer? Well their extensive team of engineeers spent years developing THE FIRST HUMAN CELLPHONE. No bluetooth earpiece need, just talk to the receiver. Located under the zero button.


DreidelMan, part of that reparation deal, I guess.


These are interesting and a little creepy. Just because people were poor, it didn't stop the kids from having a good ole time trick or treatin' for rusty nails and bread scraps.
The Kung Fat Master

The kids Michael Myers stole all his shit from.


This is the reason I love Halloween so much. It gives every girl a complete excuse to dress like a complete slut and lose all inhibitions. Well, so the story goes for every halloween party I don't get invited to. My past celebrations usually involve a smorgasbord of the cheapest liquors available for purchase, four or five fat girls with bad skin and about 20 dudes with beards talking about the last metal show they went to. I think this year I'm just gonna cut out the fat chicks and dudes with beards. Keep the cheap liquor and read blogs about those parties with hot chicks and pretend...Those hot chicks may or may not be dressed like this:

Star Wars! Jabba slave Princess Leia!

Some Kind of Army Shit!

A cop that will write you a ticket for being naughty!

Whore Mummy (aka, your mom...)

These are only a few of the many. Be sure to check out the links below to get the full sampling.

Japs and Germs and the World

Old Kids

Sluts and Floozies

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Sunday, October 26, 2008

Top Five Most Bizarre Insanities

"He says to me, he says to me, 'You got STYLE, baby.
But if you're going to be a real villain, you gotta get
a gimmick.' And so I go I says YEAH, baby. A gimmick,
that's it. High explosives. Aaaaaa-hahahahaha!

It is a crazy world. Literally. Almost anyone, with enough observation, could probably be diagnosed with some sort of mental disorder, large or small. Whatever it is, don't worry, there is probably a pill for it. I straighten the DVD cases whenever I am in a video store, and that is just the one thing that I am both aware of and comfortable sharing. Lots of shit that goes on in my head has no business seeing the light of day, and my wife could probably make a list that ran for pages of weird shit I do that I don't even consider odd.

But some crazy is orders of magnitude greater than being mildly manic or having a touch of the obsessive compulsive, some things are bat-shit crazy. So I made a list of the top five that I think (1) aren't common knowledge and (2) would still allow you to function as a member of normal society. No face-eaters, in other words. People who might be in the cubical next to you, trying to ignore the stapler's constant orders to take a dump in the planter next to the water-cooler. 

Click through for the list...


"Who are you and what have you done with my husband?", my wife jokes on the rare occasion when, instead of getting drunk and throwing beer cans at the kids and dogs, I mow the lawn or thoughtfully use the toilet in the basement for my epic, triple-flush, house depopulating dumps. Capgras Delusion is like that, except for instead of joking, she would screech it hysterically and then either watch me warily out of the corner of her eye for the rest of the day or keep me at bay with a steak knife until the police showed up. This delusion makes the victim sincerely believe that a person has been replaced with an impersonator. This has not only been used as a dramatic vehicle many times in books and movies, both as a delusion and just as a general idea, but generated real-life drama as well. Comedian and former SNL cast member Tony Rosato (yeah, I never heard of him either) recently made news when he was sentenced to the loony bin for being a danger to his wife and kid because he thought they were evil dopplegangers.

Similarly, serving as the Yin to Capgras' Yang, the Fregoli delusion is the belief that many people are actually one person. Sort of like extreme Zen where not only is everything connected, but also out to get you. In the original illustrative example used by the doctors who defined the syndrome back in 1927, a young woman believed that two actors she had seen at the theater were stalking her by assuming the form of people she knew or met. This doesn't really scare me, since replacing most of the people I generally know and meet with impostors could only be an improvement.


Probably one of the creepiest things that could ever happen to you. This delusion makes you believe that you are basically a zombie, minus the propensity for munching on brains, (fortunately). Clinically characterized "by the presence of nihilistic delusions that one is dead or the world no longer exists" it often manifests itself through delusions that you have died and are literally rotting away. In a Florida case from 2001, a man reported feeling that he had died and his brain and insides were rotting away. The hallucinations can be so vivid as to actually include thinking you can smell your own flesh rotting, which would be odd since I imagine that most people have no idea what rotting human flesh smells like. At least I hope not.


People who have an arm or leg amputated sometimes report the sense that the missing appendage is still there in a phenomenon known as the "Phantom Limb". Musical Ear Syndrome is a similar concept but usually occurs in people who have lost their hearing instead of a body part. Those afflicted report hearing music, in some cases constantly and of occasionally maddening volume. They usually have no control over the channel or volume. The auditory hallucinations are not limited just to those with hearing loss, however, and many able-eared folk report hearing music nobody else can:
It began with a pop tune, and others followed. Mr. King heard everything from cabaret songs to Christmas carols. "I asked the nurses if they could hear the music, and they said no," said Mr. King, a retired sales manager in Cardiff, Wales.

"I got so frustrated," he said. "They didn't know what I was talking about and said it must be something wrong with my head. And it's been like that ever since."

Each day, the music returns. "They're all songs I've heard during my lifetime," said Mr. King, 83. "One would come on, and then it would run into another one, and that's how it goes on in my head. It's driving me bonkers, to be quite honest."
This could either be a dream or a nightmare for me. I often imagine how awesome it would be to have my own soundtrack, like that episode of Family Guy. However, not being able to control the songs would probably result in constant Jonas Brothers, which would result in my violent suicide.


Also known as being "face blind", this affliction makes you incapable of discerning the differences between faces. You literally can't tell one person from another by looking at their face. In extreme cases, you might even have difficulty recognizing that you are looking at a face at all. Cecilia Burman, who suffers from the disorder and has published a website which describes the condition from her perspective, uses stones as an analogy for what she sees when she looks at faces. Since very few people are even aware of the condition, they are often offended by having someone who is obviously not blind stare them directly in the face and demand that they identify themselves. Burman says that the face-blind use other methods to identify people such as hair, voice, clothes, body types, etc. She has put up a series of pictures that give a rough approximation of what she sees when she looks at someone's face. The result is kind of creepy:

Even creepier is's story about a gorgeous but severely face-blind fashion model who fell in love with the first face that she was able to clearly discern. That of a 44-year old mime. A fucking mime. White face paint and heavy black eyebrows equaled a lottery ticket. Tragic.


I might actually be overvaluing this one based on the name, but it's my list and I can do whatever I want. This disorder manifests itself as a faulty "startle" response. When a person who suffers from the Jumping Frenchmen disorder is startled, a dramatically exaggerated reaction occurs; including spectacular leaps away from the cause, screaming, limb flailing, convulsions or any combination of those. Also, they are often hypersensitive to suggestion and if ordered to do something suddenly, loudly or in any manner that might trigger the startle reaction, they will immediately perform the suggested action. The disorder earned its name because it was first reported in French-Canadian lumberjacks in the Moosehead Lake area of Maine. G.M. Beard described it as follows in his 1878 paper:
One of the jumpers while sitting in his chair with a knife in his hand was told to throw it, and he threw it quickly, so that it struck in a beam opposite; at the same time he repeated the order to throw it…. When the commands are uttered in a quick loud voice the jumper repeats the order. When told to strike, he strikes, when told to throw it, he throws it, whatever he has in his hands…. all of these phenomena were indeed but parts of the general condition known as, jumping.
Sounds like something my buddies and I would have had trouble recognizing as anything more than just hilarious fun. The effect only lasts a couple seconds, by the way, so you can forget trolling the JFMD support groups for hot chicks who are overly susceptible to suggestion.
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Sebastian Bach Has Gone Country: Toby Keith, Look Out

I don't really need to write anything about this, do I?

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Saturday, October 25, 2008

McCain ain't that old

Can't see how this could end badly...

Ken Mink is 73, a year older than J-Mac, and plays college basketball. Seriously. Okay, well, mostly. The school in question is Roane State Community College and it sounds like the coach, who is also the school's athletic director, appears to have considered the novelty and marketing aspects of adding this artifact to his team:
So Mink, whose playing career at Lees (Ky.) Junior College came to an unceremonious end in 1956 when he was dismissed - wrongly, by his account - for allegedly soaping the coaches' office with shaving cream, wrote to several colleges in search of a place to play.

Roane State coach Randy Nesbit took Mink up on his offer.

"I'm not very good at saying no," said Nesbit, who just turned 50. "It's a gesture of good will to help a fine man find closure. Why not?''
Mink got kicked off a team for "soaping the coaches' office"? How old-school is that? He was convicted of committing third-degree shenanigans. I heard that was his second offense; he was already on probation because he was supposed to whitewash a fence but had tricked some other boys into doing it for him.

Cleared to play, Mink practices and everything, although he apparently is only expected to play a few minutes. Which is where the McCain analogy kind of falls apart, I guess, since McCain will be expected to play the full game.

Link to a summary of video and story links after the break.
This article, about Mink as internet phenom, has collected a bunch of the stories and videos. More »

Friday, October 24, 2008



Talk about knowing how to get the crowd's attention. DEA agent shoots himself in the foot in front of a classroom full of kids. Video after the jump.

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Big-Boy Toys: Canon Digital Rebel XSi

Chicks like having their picture taken. Get a real camera. Get chicks.

Okay, you are a big boy now. Time to get rid of the little camera you have that fits in your pocket. All the fancy clothes, whitened teeth and $80 haircuts are for naught when you pull out your dinkycam as big as a cigarette pack and begin poking at its smurf-sized controls with your sausage fingers. The girls you are trying to take pictures of are already looking around the beach bar for someone who doesn't remind them of a Chris Farley skit. If you want to carry something the size of a cigarette pack in your pocket, carry a pack of cigarettes. If you want to look like a big man, get a big man's camera; get the Canon Digital Rebel XSi. It has "Rebel" right in the fucking name. The holidays are coming, treat yourself or get it for your big daddy. Whatever your thing is. Half-ass review after the break, plus links to real reviews. More ->->

Like any good trophy, this bad boy just looks good sitting there, and it only gets better from there. Brand new this year, this model boasts 12 mega-pixels of resolution. That level is getting so high at this point that there is argument among photo-geeks that any more resolution than this and the event horizon for picture quality will have been passed and picture quality actually begins to degrade any higher. Why? Science and math, I guess. Ask a photo geek.

Now, you don't actually need to be a photo geek to enjoy the love of this sweet piece. Like a high-class hooker, the Rebel knows how to please virgins and addicts alike. This is a great camera for the first timer, all of its features can be auto-set to take the perfect picture. If you have never used an advanced camera, the only difference you will probably notice is that there is no delay between pressing the button and the photo being taken. On your standard pocket-cam, I am sure you know, there is an annoying pause between the two that almost always results in missing the nipple slip. No longer. What you see is what you photo with the Rebel.

You can introduce the advanced features slowly, one at a time, and improve your photo taking across the board. Or, if you are already an expert, you can pick this up and start photographing swimsuit models right away. The perfect camera for people looking to make the leap. Read the reviews and check out all the tech specs at Amazon. Currently listed there for $654.95.

So what are you waiting for? Quit jerking around with the kiddie cams and go grab that big boy and start planning your trip to St. Bart's for some hot beach pics. Your new career as a paparazzi could be just around the corner. You could have taken this photo:

Kirsten Dunst does more for me off screen than on.

Lead picture came from the great Aneta Kowalczyk, who knows how to use a camera.
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DJ Douchebag

Are you down in the dumps? Lost your house? Your girl? And your child? All in a high stakes poker game? At the local boys club? Don't fret things could be worse. You could be like Brian Austin Green, I mean, DJ Bello here.

Awesome BAG video after the jump. Yeah, you wish you could dance like this.

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8 Billion Dollars and the Shit Still Don't Work


I know that everything I post in here is lost in the cosmos of this short attention span theater in about 24 hours, but I'm gonna let you in on the secret of why all our sorry asses are still alive.

If you can think back awhile, way past 15 minutes ago when you were going "peepee in your pampy," to like, 5 weeks ago? I warned you that the scientists, with all their curiosity were about to get us cats killed. They started that experiment with a huge machine that cost 8 billion dollars that was supposed to recreate the big bang. See, they didn't know what was gonna happen when they succeeded (cause no one was around to know) but they thought it would be cool and were gonna do it anyway. That was until they were reminded that they were human and like a retard with a new christmas present, broke the machine in about 4 weeks.

So they didn't get that puppy warmed up enough to "test it." But you can imagine that they are working their little fannies off trying to go for it again and when they'll die.

Happy Friday from mumbles.

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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Are Pandas Hipsters?

Man! I love pandas! My desktop wallpaper is a picture of four fat pandas sitting in a tree. I’m serious. So cute. Nah…it’s really just there to confuse my coworkers, but I digress.

So are pandas hipsters? What’s a panda? A cute, adorable, herbivorean, black and white bear like creature? What’s a hipster? A fuckin’ douche who loves all things 80’s. Chicks wear the aerobic stuff, dudes wear acid washed jeans.

Panda "Gettin' Physical, Physical," Hipster being a complete douche.

So I guess a panda who loves aerobic outfits or acid washed would be a hipster…?


Or at least this panda in the following video loves stone-wash, so technically, he does not qualify as a hipster. Which, in my book, actually makes him more hip. He loves the stonewash style so much he ass rapes this poor chinaman and then almost drags his skinny bones through two fence posts that you could barely fit a slice a pizza through just to get his beloved new obsession.

Then he lumbers away and playfully rolls around with it rubbing it all on his cute panda death mouth. Enjoy. Video after the jump.

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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Woman Saves McDonald's Hamburger 12 Years, Eats Today

1996 Hamburger......and.....2008 Hamburger.

You all may have heard of the crazy woman who could go 12 years without eating a McDonald's hamburger lying helplessly in her fridge. The temptation! Well she finally ate it! Video of what she saw after the jump. (aka McDonald's Japanese commercial...)

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Charles, "Chuckie or Chucky" Taylor: Trial Continues [UPDATE]

Extracting a pound of flesh...

It is now day 27 since the trial of Charles "Chucky" Taylor commenced. The first American citizen to be tried for torture abroad on US soil has caused a bit of an uproar, worldwide. The prosecution has called many witnesses, all attesting to the brutal nature of his alleged crimes. The defense has railroaded them on occasion with effective "out of trial" methods. Many witnesses, after testifying to the cruelty of treatments in pre-trial depositions, opted for a much more lightened tone in court. One can only assume that is fear for family, still in Liberia. There are many things to report, but they are all so horrible that I cannot even bring myself to type them. Here are a few from a little over a week ago. I'll catch up to date soon.

An update from the days that do not repeat the obvious after the jump.

Cross examination and prosecution's redirect revealed the following:

"The defense tried to establish that there were inconsistencies in the victim’s account of his torture experience...Previously, the victim testified that he had come out of his home freely, while both letters stated that his home was broken into by the President’s bodyguards...Also in discrepancy was the issue of whether the 100 men outside his home when he was arrested were in plain clothes (like the letters stated) or in ATU uniforms and black jump suits (what victim had previously testified to). The defense also alluded to the issue that the victim was claiming asylum to obtain medical treatment for a serious medical condition and also that he claimed asylum in 2005, after the war in Liberia had ended and new President was in office."

"In redirect, the prosecution asked questions to show once again that Chuckie Taylor had used a hot iron, boiling iron, and electric devices to torture the victim."

Later that afternoon...

"From Kondembaia, the home village of Mansaray, a total of nine persons, four men (including the witness) and five women were amputated. This happened after a rebel called Junta Two read out a note from the commander, saying that of all the men the right hand had to be cut of and of all the women the left hand had to be cut of. When Mansaray and the other civilians pleaded, Junta Two said there was no god today and that he was god and was going to decide what was going to happen that day. Junta Two also said that the hands should be sent to ex-President Kabbah and that those hands would never vote again. The four men were adult civilians, one being a retired soldier, all four had their right hand amputated. The five women were all civilians, one woman with her six year old daughter and one woman who was eight months pregnant, she died later. The hand of the girl of six years was put in the open mouth of a dead man, a police officer, and the rebels said that that would be his last food. These same rebels burnt down his house and the houses of other civilians."

Life after the amputation

"After the amputation the witness and two others went into the bush to rest a little..."

Source 1
Source 2

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A smörgåsbord of things to offend Mumbles

Extra! Extra!

Why should Mumbles limit himself to hysterically overreacting to headlines just from the NY rags? With the power of the internet, he can now post Nicholas Fehn-esque alarms to stories nationwide!

Newseum posts the front pages of every paper in the country every day in pdf form. Maybe not every paper, but so many that it hardly makes a difference. Now Mumbles can rail against The Hutchinson News' (Hutchinson, Kansas) blatant waste of reporting efforts while covering this janitor's stolen bike on their front page. Eddie Ross, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Caveat and photo notes in More -> ->

Due to copyright or something, Newseum doesn't archive the front pages, which kind of sucks, but is understandable.

Photo of "Little Fattie" came from this page of cool photos, many of which I can almost guarantee you will see when I can find an excuse to use them.
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Monday, October 20, 2008

Andrew Lahde Letter: "That's All Folks"

Andrew Lahde bids farewell, or goodbye, anyway

Many of you have likely already read it, but for those who haven't seen Andrew Lahde's sign-off letter already, you should check it out. Rarely do we see such frankness, well-founded or not. It starts off strong, but takes a weird turn about two-thirds of the way through. I am going to guess, based on the "High Times" talking points near the end, that he had began to partake in the sweet leaf when he started writing and it kicked in about then.

To summarize, Lahde, 37, who ran one of the most successful hedge funds, says: Goodbye; finance sucks; Wall Street is full of fools; government is full of fools; fools made me rich; I am so rich now that I don't care what anyone thinks; meritocracy should be our form of government; Congress caused the current financial problems; politicians are corrupt; Soros should create a think tank to make a new government model [!]; some random shit about how great and historically awesome hemp is; legalize pot to decrease our dependence on foriegn oil [?]; Europeans laugh at us, but U.S. media protects us from knowing about it; goodbye and good luck.
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Information Overload 2: Cosplay

Bad Girl

The Japanese fascinate me. Everywhere you look on this planet, despite the culture, you discover some common thread with your fellow man; an open air market in Mombasa, Kenya is startlingly similar to the swap meet held in the Aloha Stadium parking lot every Saturday, which is itself easily recognizable to people who regularly hit Manhattan's farmer's market in Union Square. Traffic, Coke cans, couches and the loud guy on the bus; all are things you can cling to in a foreign land as an anchor to the familiar.

There is, however, a country so full of bizarre interests and people that it might as well be a different planet. This place is called Japan. I don't know what losing World War Two did to these people, but it either freed them to truly explore and enjoy the full limits of human existence, or it drove them completely batshit bonkers. What I am going to expose you to today isn't even the tip of the crazy iceberg, but merely the most hazy reflection of their deep, deep crazy. If you really want to freak, check out their porn; or worse, their comics. The line between the two is terrifyingly thin, if it still exists at all. Tread carefully, though, there are things down that road which, if exposed to the unprepared, will melt your face off like that Nazi who looked at the Ark in "Raiders". And never, EVER, click on any link that contains the word "Yaoi". I don't even like typing it for fear of what traffic it may attract. Googling it is akin to saying "Bloody Mary" three times in a mirror; you will come face to face with true horror. You were warned.

On to today's subject you will learn too much about: Cosplay. More->->
Cosplay is huge in Japan. Which is a major red flag. It involves dressing up in costumes of movie and comic characters you like and then, just hanging out. There are parks and bridges where these folks just show up and mill around. Not like a party or a rave or anything, more like places where teenagers hang out. Except they are dressed like cats or cartoon ninjas or something. The major location for this behavior is conventions, apparently, which is at least a little better. I have no problem with any group of similarly minded folks getting together with each other and doing their thing, it is the business of hanging out in public that disturbs me. I wouldn't like it much if plumbers or tile manufacturers started staking out bridges and parks to hang out in either.

Now, before I link to the Information Overload site and throw in some pics, I want to fully disclose the angst Cosplay generates within me. Specifically within my pants. See, I think girls in costume are crazy hot. But, asian girls generally don't do it for me (there are many notable exceptions, hot chicks are hot chicks, but I don't have an asian fetish is what I guess I am saying). So Cosplay is a serious yin-yang experience for me. Even American Cosplay is bitter-sweet for me. Because over here, the chicks who are into dressing like comic chicks are rarely those who you would want to be dressing like a comic chick.

The clearinghouse for cosplay info is . There you will find tutorials, links to magazines, tips and pics. You will also find basic information on the phenom such as:
It is not unusual for Japanese teenagers to gather with like-minded friends in places like Tokyo's Harajuku district to engage in cosplay. Since 1998, Tokyo's Akihabara district has contained a large number of cosplay cafés, catering to devoted anime and cosplay fans. The waitresses at such cafés dress as game or anime characters; maid (or meido) costumes are particularly popular.

Possibly the single largest and most famous event attended by cosplayers is the semiannual doujinshi market, Comiket. This event, held in summer and winter, attracts hundreds of thousands of manga otaku and many thousands of cosplayers who congregate on the roof of the exhibition center, often in unbearably hot or cold conditions.
The commitment to detail is amazing and some of these folks clearly missed their calling as engineers or obsessive compulsives or something that requires a real commitment to detail. This one is spooky, I don't know which came first:

Not just pretty girls, either, also the creepiest guys. Ever. From the Flickr set of the aforementioned Comiket:

Anyway, good luck out there. Hope you have better luck than this guy did finding a costume that hid his fat gut:

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Sunday, October 19, 2008

Mr. Divine: Ray Lamontagne

Sunday is a sheltered time for those folk in the south. It is an even moment to allow the sway from the southern wind to keep us keeled by the breeze that comes from a direction different than the north. That is why we have a porch. And why we think they are for singing. Mr. Lamontagne thinks of that, too. I do too, and think of honey lipped songbirds that shelter me. That shelter me strong. Click through for divination...

he's on tour. find him.
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Saturday, October 18, 2008

Facebook Kills (Cocaine and Booze Helped)

Warning: Don't mix with Facebook

Lots of shit on Facebook pisses me off. Everyone hates the applications, of course. The updates can get ridiculous. I have a buddy who posts 20-30 partisan political links a day, more than he could actually be looking for, reading and linking since he has an actual full-time job which, to the best of my knowledge, is not related to posting political links. Actually does something with fire-extinguishers, I think.

Anyway, this guy is a bit over the top:
A husband who hacked his wife to death with a meat cleaver in fury over her Facebook entry was jailed for a minimum of 14 years at the Old Bailey today.

Wayne Forrester, 34, drank alcohol and took cocaine before driving 15 miles to the family home to attack wife Emma as she lay in bed.
The couple had separated four days before the murder in February and Forrester later told police he had been provoked by his wife changing her marital status to "single" on her Facebook entry, the court heard.
Pile of strange little details in this story. Walking out, covered in blood and with a carton of juice was a curious scene. Not sure how the reporter reconciles the "14 year" sentence bit at the beginning with the "jailing for life" bit a couple paragraphs later, but it is England, who knows if they even have laws over there. Or maybe they know when they guy is going to die.

I do like how the writer of the headline decided to accurately reflect the fact that the killing was merely after the posting, rather than calling it the cause. Like an American paper probably would. Like I did in the post heading. Which was me actually being sensationalist, not me being ironic.

How much you want to bet that almost all outside traffic for this post comes from people looking for information about "Scrabulous"?
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Have you ever felt like you were being held under water? No breath to speak of? listening to the reverberations of the sounds of the drops slipping through the drain underneath you? Waiting for air. For life. But to no avail? Then you hear it? Salvation? And it says it to you? But it says it again? It says...maggot brain...?
Click through for the feeling. Nothing cures hope like peace of the brain.Again with song. I miss my sugar, this is for you.

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Friday, October 17, 2008

Vasily Shulzhenko : If Charles Bukowski Were a Painter...

I cannot find any information on this Vasily Shulzhenko, but I think he's pretty awesome. He sees the world through some pretty grim viewing spots. But, he is Russian so I'm sure not all hot hookers and spygames. This is his reality. Click through for many more photos of his paintings.


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