GHETTO NINJA

This dude is just straight Gangsta! I would love to see the Ghetto Ninja pair off against The Real Dwight Schrute! Battle to the death. FINISH HIM! Click through for the video, trust me, it's worth it!

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The Real Dwight Schrute

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Badasses: Sudanese Rapper, Bangs

Click poster to enlarge print and hang on your wall, ceiling or cubicle.

Yo, Yo! So check out my boy Bangs here! Dopest rapper to come out of Footscray Australia via Egypt via North Khartoum, Sudan. That's hardcore, yo! You'd think his rhymes would be about the atrocities of Africa like Chuckie Taylor, but he doesn't roll that way. He's down with the pound as far as what sells in America so he autotunes the shit out of all his songs on such topics as: girls and taking girls to the movies. His debut album Hard to Be Up is in limited release and as of right now, you can only get it at an adult book store on a side street of Leeds St.



You gotta see his dope ass video for Take Ya to Da Movies. Click thru to get the lyrics exclusively here on Mumbletomyneighbor so you can be the first to spit'em on your local block's freestyle rap off. You can cop them as your own, he's still waaaay underground. But just wait, once this jam starts burning up the charts and is in constant rotation at Hot 97, you can say he stole them from you. Instant street cred, Yo! Word up!





LYRICS:

Yeah your boy bangs
And this track is dedicated to all the ladies out there that like to go to the movies
Especially you girl.
Let me take you to the movies, shorty
I’m sure later on you will be my baby.
Let’s just sit down be by my side.
I got the popcorn I know what else you like.

Hey shorty, you really looking nice
Let me take you to da the movies cause I know you like.
You got nothing to worry about
Hold the popcorn and the drink
Let me pay the money so we can get in.
Now hold my hand
and take a step to the door
Don’t fall
Lets sit on those two chairs alone
Watching a movie
So we can see whats going on.
If you like to watch you can lean on my chest
Take a rest do you r best.
Baby Girl
(Yehaw!)

Chorus

I hope you enjoyed the movie Cause I did too
Anytime you wanna go again, Just holla at me
Baby girl we can make it to be better than before
Anything you want me to do, I can do it for sure.
You can be my Cinderella
When it rains, you can stand under my umbrella
I know it make us feel better
I'm not like other boys
I'm a different guy
coming from the sky
I never lie
Just let me know if you wanna go somewhere
Yeah Boy!

Chorus
Hey shorty where you at where you going can I see you later
Cause I can see you busy right now meet me at the shop at 4 o’clock don’t forget and don’t be late
I can tell you what we do when you come back
I still remember what you told me take me to the movies Friday night,
that’s right what time it is now half past three my girl be back in about half an hour
let me go and take shower dress
good put some perfume so I can smell good

(Talks in baller voice)
Yea girl you can go to the movie any time you like
but guess who you gonna call your baby boy bangs
cause he still got chance you know I mean
(Yehaw!)
yeah yeah that’s right roll um

Sings softly
Let’s just sit down be by my side.
I got the popcorn I know what else you like.

Take a gander at bangs special girl:


For more Badasses, click HERE.

www.bangs8.com

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Badasses : Nerd Post 171 Best Wikipedia Posts and Categories

A loony bookmarks 4,200 articles on Wikipedia. Sorts through them all and posts top 171. Other loonies chastise him, add to list and calculate said time to compile said list. (1 minute per article, 70 hours total) and here's what he got. It's pretty badass. Henceforth, he's a badass. Click through for the list and waste the rest of the day. From Something Awful.

INDIVIDUAL ARTICLES
1 Marree Man 7.8
2 War Plan Red 7.4
3 Vela Incident 7.2
4 Tybee Bomb 7.2
5 United States Numbered Highways 7.1
6 Wow! Signal 7.1
7 Tube Bar Prank Calls 6.9
8 Kola Superdeep Borehole 6.8
9 Back to the Future Timeline 6.8
10 Year Without a Summer 6.8
11 K Foundation Burn a Million Quid 6.8
12 Sokal Affair 6.8
13 Blue Peacock 6.7
14 Veerappan 6.7
15 Person From Porlock 6.7
16 Eternal Flame 6.6
17 U.S. Color-Coded War Plans 6.6
18 The Wedge (Border) 6.6
19 Mohave Phone Booth 6.5
20 Stanislav Petrov 6.5
21 Valery Sablin 6.4
22 The Man on the Clapham Omnibus 6.4
23 Special Atomic Demolition Munition 6.4
24 Piracy in the Strait of Malacca 6.3
25 Prometheus (tree) 6.2
26 Zone of Alienation 6.2
27 Fan Death 6.2
28 Outlawries Bill 6.2
29 Raymond Robinson (Green Man 6.2
30 Scoville Scale 6.2
31 Kardashev Scale 6.2
32 Larry Walters 6.1
33 Joshua A. Norton 6.1
34 Fabergé egg 6.1
35 Issei Sagawa 6.1
36 Joseph Jagger 6.1
37 Traumatic Insemination 6.1
38 James Joseph Dresnok 6.0
39 Ivy League Nude Posture Photos 6.0
40 Jim Corbett (Hunter) 6.0
41 Just-World Phenomenon 6.0
42 Nicholas Bourbaki 6.0
43 Humanzee 6.0
44 Old Man of the Lake 6.0
45 Alexamenos Graffito 6.0
46 Fairy Chess Piece 5.9
47 Michael Fagan Incident 5.9
48 ETAOIN SHRDLU 5.9
49 Palomares Hydrogen Bomb Incident 5.9
50 As Slow as Possible 5.9
51 Bouvet Island 5.9
52 Joshua Milton Blahyi 5.9
53 Centralia, Pennsylvania 5.8
54 The Black Book 5.8
55 Tehachapi Loop 5.8
56 Arbre du Ténéré 5.8
57 Hiroo Onoda 5.8
58 If by Whisky 5.8
59 Peaceful Nuclear Explosions 5.8
60 Planned Shrinkage 5.7
61 Predictions of Soviet Collapse 5.7
62 Clause IV 5.7
63 Marvin Heemeyer 5.7
64 Two Cunts in a Kitchen 5.7
65 Octopus Wrestling 5.7
66 Cliff Young 5.6
67 Sylvestre Matuschka 5.6
68 Gustave (Crocodile) 5.5
69 Leatherman (vagabond) 5.5
70 Saddam Hussein's Novels 5.5
71 Battle cry 5.4
72 Doomsday Argument 5.4
73 Egg of Columbus 5.4
74 Technical Tap 5.4
75 Martial Races Theory 5.4
76 Buffalo buffalo… 5.4
77 Cherubina de Gabriak 5.3
78 Hapax Legomenon 5.3
79 Descent From Antiquity 5.2
80 Graham's Number 5.2
81 Laconia Incident 5.2
82 Margaret Hogg 5.2
83 Richard C. Weaver 5.2
84 Casu Marzu 5.2
85 Bummer and Lazarus 5.2
86 Rochom P'ngieng 5.2
87 Russell's Teapot 5.2
88 Bloody Island (Mississippi River 5.2
89 Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den 5.2
90 Oak Island 5.2
91 Norwegian Rocket Incident 5.1
92 Brian Douglas Wells 5.1
93 Flag of Bikini Atoll 5.1
94 Iron Pillar of Delhi 5.1
95 Shades of Death Road 5.1
96 Caste-Related Violence in India 5.0
97 Wild Bill Hickok-Davis Tutt shootout 5.0
98 Higest Unclimbed Mountain 5.0
99 Lady Be Good (aircraft) 5.0
100 Ideal German Campaign 5.0
101 Leck Mich Im Arsch 5.0
102 Atomic Bomb Go Game 4.9
103 Paris 1968 4.9
104 Dioxippus 4.9
105 Fleet in Being 4.9
106 Frontier Thesis 4.9
107 Gaëtan Dugas 4.9
108 Color of the Bikeshed 4.8
109 Burst of Joy 4.8
110 Four Dead in Five Seconds Gunfight 4.8
111 Cymothoa exigua 4.8
112 Harry K. Daghlian Jr 4.8
113 Kinetic Bombardment 4.8
114 Vasili Arkhipov 4.8
115 Jerimoth Hill 4.8
116 Yukio Mishima 4.8
117 Tom and Eileen Lonergan 4.8
118 Royal Fish 4.8
119 George P. Burdell 4.7
120 Cincinnati Subway 4.7
121 Dugway Sheep Incident 4.7
122 Lichtenberg's Avertissement 4.7
123 Drake's Plate of Brass 4.6
124 Hansa Carrier 4.6
125 Lace Car 4.6
126 Atari Video Game Burial 4.6
127 Blood in the Water Match 4.5
128 Cowboy 4.5
129 Degree Confluence Project 4.5
130 Lp0 on Fire 4.5
131 1973 National Archives Fire 4.4
132 Baldwin Street, Dunedin 4.4
133 Blood-Vomiting Game 4.4
134 P = NP Problem 4.4
135 Tree That Owns Itself 4.4
136 Cadaver Synod 4.4
137 Stagger Lee 4.4
138 Three Whom God Should… 4.4
139 Lake Woebegon Effect 4.3
140 Champawat Tiger 4.2
141 Minor Scale 4.2
142 Dunning-Kruger effect 4.2
143 Gaslighting 4.2
144 Lead Masks Case 4.2
145 Perfidious Albion 4.2
146 Aokigahara 4.2
147 Height of Land Portage 4.1
148 Martha Mitchell Effect 4.1
149 Ashley's Hundred 4.1
150 Dead Hand (nuclear war) 4.1
151 Man Singh (dacoit) 4.1
152 And you are lynching Negros 4.0
153 Brfxx...116 4.0
154 Locus Amoenus 4.0
155 Lloyds Bank Coprolite 4.0
156 David A. Johnston 3.9
157 Leopard of Rudraprayag 3.9
158 Adolf Lu Hitler Marak 3.9
159 Aron Ralston 3.9
160 Boot Monument 3.9
161 Mise En Abyme 3.9
162 Larry Mattlage 3.8
163 Mel's Hole 3.8
164 Eric Moussambani 3.6
165 Baghdad Battery 3.5
166 Corinthian Leather 3.5
167 Mount Yamantaw 3.4
168 Atacama Desert 3.2
169 Anaconda Smelter Stack 3.1
170 Air New Zealand Flight 901 3.0
171 Bear JJ1 2.8


CATEGORIES AND LISTS
1 List of Cognative Biases 8.2
2 Narratology 7.8
3 Military Strategy 7.8
4 Stock Characters 7.7
5 List of People Who Have Disappeared 7.6
6 List of Military Nuclear Accidents 7.5
7 Mysterious People 7.4
8 List of Fatal Bear Attacks in N. America… 7.4
9 List of Military Tactics 7.4
10 List of Massacres 7.3
11 Cognative Biases 7.3
12 Stock Characters 7.2
13 Hoaxes 7.2
14 List of Numbered H'ways in the U.S. 7.2
15 List of Extremely Hazardous Substances 7.2
16 List of Famous Trees 7.1
17 The Thirty-Six Dramatic Situations 7.0
18 List of Heroic Stock Characters 6.9
19 List of Paradoxes 6.9
20 List of Largest Non-Nuclear Explosions 6.9
21 List of Places Blurred Out On Google Maps 6.8
22 Plot Devices 6.7
23 Exploration 6.7
24 Paradoxes 6.5
25 List of Memory Biases 6.5
26 Ship Types 6.5
27 Rhetorical Techniques 6.4
28 Logical Fallacies 6.4
29 List of Fatal Wolf Attacks 6.4
30 Rules of Thumb 6.4
31 Extreme Points of the World 6.3
32 Gestures 6.3
33 List of Rainbow Codes 6.3
34 Semantics 6.2
35 List of Poisonings 6.1
36 List of American Defectors in the Korean War 6.1
37 List of Statues of Lenin 6.1
38 Controversies 5.9
39 List of Explorers 5.9
40 List of Self-Contradicting Words in English 5.9
41 Nuclear Tests 5.8
42 Motif of Harmful Sensation 5.6
43 Word Play 5.5
44 List of Deaths on Eight Thousanders 5.5
45 Phantom Islands 5.4
46 List of Camouflage Patterns 5.3
47 Indian Castes 5.1
48 Modern Street Gangs 5.0
49 Phrases 5.0
50 Bible Errata 5.0
51 English Words With Uncommon Properties 4.6
52 List of Unusual Personal Names 4.6
53 Unsolved Problems 4.4
54 American Old West Gunfights 4.1
55 Nuclear Warfare 4.1
56 Chord Progressions 4.0

From Something Awful

For another Wikipedia list that shows Non-Wikiedia websites look HERE.
For other lists check out 7 reasons why Crispin Glover is Awesome HERE.
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Matt Damon Makes Adrian Grenier Look Like A Bitch

I think most people agree Matt Damon is one of the cooler movie stars in Hollywood. The Jason Bourne series is totally badass. Well, here he proves he also doesn't take any shit from two bit hacks, either. He totally smacks Adrian Grenier down during a promotional taping for his charity. Although, it might be from onset footage from Entourage. Either way, it looks real! More »

Roger Federer is a Badass

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Marky Mark Workout Video

Marky Mark : Kizzee! You Pig! What are you doin?
Kizzee: What? I'm eating some grub
Marky Mark : What are you doin?
Kizzee: I'm eating some grub! (says with mouth full) Can't I eat some grub?
Marky Mark : What are you eatin?
Kizzee: I got all the groups here.
Marky Mark : This is a fitness video.
Kizzee: Your fitness video. Whats the difference between me eating this (huge plate of sub sandwiches and you eating that? (points to nothing)
Marky Mark : Come on, I got a nutritionist I want to introduce you to.
Kizzee: What's he gonna tell me that I don't already know?
Marky Mark : THAT YOUR A PIG! POW!


Classically Funky! Click through to watch him do what he does best. What is that you might ask? BE A BADASS! THAT'S WHAT!



Thanks for the link, Larrocca!
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World's Most Badass Dancer

Michael Jackson, Patrick Swayze, Kevin Bacon and Kenny Powers. Bow bitches. Meet your new arch-nemisis, The Lollapalooza Dance Machine! This dude has so many moves, he never even needs to recycle one. The Ground Puncher, the Bicycle Kick, The Desk Elbow, The Flamingo, the list just goes on and on. Click through for the most hilarious thing you will see today.



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BadAssvertising : Bruno Kammerl’s Megawoosh Viral Video

Microsoft finally did something cool for a change. Why it chose to have Bruno Kammerl create a viral video of for Office 2007, I don't really know. Probably for the same reason they spent a fortune on the Jerry Seinfeld, Bill Gates commercials only to pull them before seeing hardly any airtime. (Here) In the video, Bruno slides down the worlds largest slip and slide, is launched approximately 500 feet into a very small inflatable pool.He rises unharmed. The video is very well done. See if you can spot the tell tale signs of fakery in the video after the jump.

Via TodaysBigThing
Full Video at Bruno's website, HERE.



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Highest Skydive Ever : Project Excelsior III

I was drunk and at a bar with the only guy that gets drunk with me at a bar nowadays and we started a discussion. Well it was more a yelling match cause that's what he does when he's not listening. Well I guess I should call it an interrupting match cause we were both yelling and spilling our drinks interrupting each other. Wait a minute, I wasn't at a bar, I was at work, but yes, we were still both drunk and yelling and interrupting each other. I know what your thinking and don't worry, it's ok to drink where I work, everyone there is dead, they can't smell it. Wait, no, what I mean to say is they are almost dead. Ahh, screw I work at a funeral home, ok?

So anyways, this guy has short attention span theater to the highest degree and I can only engage him from his iPhone when I am pointing at hot girl or talking about dumb shit like this. In order to when this interrupting contest, I am actually looking this shit up so we know the answer instead of pretending like we are the authoritative source on shit we know absolutely nothing about.

I'll give him this, he was right about the hot air balloon.

I posed the question of what was the highest altitude anyone had skydived from. Instead of whipping out his trusty iPhone and "easily solving it", he waxed and waned about some shit I don't remember. But here's the answer. 102,800 fucking feet or about 20 miles or about 3 times higher than any commercial airliner or about 31,300 meters. That's really high. He was way above the clouds. Dude couldn't even tell he was falling. Had no idea if he was up or down. First time he tried he lost consciousness and was only saved by an automatic suit. He went into a flat spin causing him to experience a g-force of 22 times the force of gravity. Yes he was wearing a pressurization suit and he reached the speed of sound. Only Bob Munden could wrap his head around that. He was freefalling for over 4 minutes and 30 seconds. Time from jump to landing was over 13 and a half minutes. He broke all existing records and still holds them today. Oh, and this was all done in 1960. And he has it all on camera. After the jump...



Info from here.
More info on this badass. HERE

More on the speed of sound, the American Badass, Bob Munden, fastest Gunslinger ever. HERE


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Badasses : Chinese 2 Year Old Smokes Cigarette

The chinese have given us all sorts of reasons to scratch our heads throughout the years. We know that their obsession with control has led to the proposed mandatory Internet-filtration software that was to be installed on every new PC, which has now been delayed.

This would concern me if I had readers in China, but alas, I don't. The news that has come from the country as of late has been on the negative tip, but fear no more loyal readers. The country that gave us Jackie Chan and sold invented and sold us fireworks for our fucking independence day is back!

They can now claim to have the youngest smoker on the planet! He's two and smokes like a pro! Presumedly, after making internet video debut, he will pound a few whiskeys and go off to bang out your moms. (Source : Unconfirmed) If all the little boys in China were this badass, I guess I could understand why they drown all the baby girls. Video after the jump.

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Bob Munden : Gunslinging Badass

I'm braindead today so I'm not gonna sit here and ramble on trying to be clever just to end up sounding like a jackass. This video of Bob Munden, the fastest gunman in the world. He holds every (there are 18) record in the Guinness book related to shooting guns quickly. However, you can't get as good as he is without giving up something. Robert Johnson exchanged his soul, Bob gave up the ability to NOT come off as a complete and utter asshole.

He wears this badge and takes it seriously for christsakes!


Just watch the video after the jump.


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STOP SMOKING, RUSSIAN STYLE!

My friend told me he was trying to quit smoking the other day by using the patch. Here in America we go to all different lengths to stop this nasty and expensive habit. In my neighbor hood they started substituting a green aromatic tobacco in their cigars instead of the commercially packaged kind. It's healthier, they say!

Hell, even in the new Stimulus Bill $75 million is earmarked for smoking cessation programs. Russia, of course, handles it a different way. Vladimir Putin, the man who fights bears, has his own instructional judo dvd (where he beats up a 12 year old) and has been known to partake in lovemaking sessions that have lasted more than 36 hours, is no stranger to extremes. Click through for his solution to assist in stopping smoking, as well as photographic proof.

Well one way to stop smoking is too make it a gamble to even buy cigarettes. Would you think twice on purchasing a pack of smokes if 1 out of every 10 packs exploded upon opening? 1 out of every million cigarettes manufactured were laced with cyanide? I would.

Russia and Putin don't go this far, but in a country where the average monthly salary and is going through economic times even much worse than ours, every ruble counts! So instead of the methods above, some packs of cigarettes are filled with...fillers. Fake cigarettes. No tobacco at all, just a filter wrapped in paper. So deal with that you poors! Gamble with your bread money on your vices! Be warned, we may steal it from you! "Smoking is the enemy to Judo!"

Or maybe this is some scam from the Russian mob and I'm making it all up. Who cares. Photos below.















Photos courtesy of EnglishRussia

If you like reading things about Russia, you might want to check out another MTMN post because it has the word Russia in it once and the words Soviet Union in it once but is really about Mr. T. Just click here.
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Robert Sylvester: American Badass

Could whoop your ass.

Who is this badass? This badass is my grandfather. No, I wish. This badass is Robert Sylvester. This was taken during a seemingly anonymous trip to the grocery store. Or the OTB. Yeah. No, Mr. Sylvester had the fool proof plan of robbing a currency exchange, but when police became wise to him, he got in a badass high speed chase. When it was clear there was no way out, he stopped and came running, jumping, with guns a blazin' like a true badass should. I think I have used the word badass enough times for the day. Ok, one more. More badass pictures after the jump.

Contemplating the cancellation of 80's wonder, The Love Boat.

Getting angry over the cancellation of The Love Boat.

Hurrying to take a wizz...

Looking both ways before crossing the street.

At this point, officially becoming the "wind beneath my wings."

Officially getting his ass handed to him.

Pantagraph
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