Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Awesome Scams From 2008

Wired does a really good job of writing this article so I'll just link to it. Here's two fairly interesting excerpts, if you like these, you'll like the rest.

The Big Gulp

You're a Russian hacker who's just managed to crack a server that processes transactions from Citibank ATMs at 7-Eleven convenience stores. No fool, you suck down thousands of Citibank customers' account numbers and PIN codes. Only one problem remains: How best to monetize your hacking haul.

The solution: offshore it, of course. The hacker, identity unknown, farmed out the stolen data to confederates in America, who traveled from as far as Missouri to converge on the Citibank ATM supercluster known as New York City. Using blank cards programmed with the hacked account numbers, the gang managed to steal at least $2 million from Citibank accounts, sending 70% of the take back to mother Russia, before a lucky traffic stop unraveled the scheme. In the end, the FBI made ten arrests, including two Ukrainian immigrates with more than $800,000 each stashed in their closets. That's a lot of Slurpees.

The Big Rig

How do you run a profitable interstate trucking company without all the hassle of driving trucks? Step one: Visit the online "load boards" where brokers advertise cargo in need of transport and negotiate a deal to, for example, haul a load from California to Maryland for $3,500. Step two: hack into the Department of Transportation website that maintains the master list of licensed trucking companies, and change the contact information for a legitimate firm to an address and phone number you control.

Step three: Profit! Posing as the company whose identity you just stole, outsource your job to another trucking firm for whatever price it wants; when the load is delivered, collect your $3,500, leaving the company that actually drove the truck trying in vain to invoice the company you hijacked. Step four: Get a lawyer. In October, federal prosecutors charged Russian immigrants Nicholas Lakes and Viachelav Berkovich with computer fraud for allegedly pulling this scam over-and-over again, to the tune of $500,000.

The Seven Best Capers of 2008

From Wired

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Monday, December 29, 2008

Kitten Breaks Leg, Angel Dies

"Did it for the pain medication..."

I've always had a thing for animal videos, I know it's gay, but they seem to be pretty popular on the web so I guess I'm not the only homo with a computer. This post will stick to cats and the previous feline posts here at mumbletomyneighbor.

We had that one of s cat getting a pail of water dumped on him, one of the first blogs to give you the famed Spaghetti Cat and some dumb video of a cat eating pizza. I just can't believe the demand for ridiculous shit about cats. People just eat it up. And why are all these people on the internet looking at fake cats, blogging about virtual cats when they could be sitting on their kitchen tile floor, putting masking tape on their cats feet and a large sprinkle of catnip right between the ears? Now that's entertainment. But I'm pretty sure that's how this little kitty got his leg broke and his owner is most definitely going to hell.

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Friday, December 26, 2008

THE DEATH OF BRICK AND MORTAR RETAIL?: At the same time that traditional retail is starving for sales and begging for help, Amazon.com is reporting a record season. Even though sales appear slow for other online sellers, it is clear that online retail is going to weather this storm much better than its real world counterparts.

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Wednesday, December 24, 2008

GUNS, DRUGS AND SEX: Not a story about Mumble's weekends, but about a Mexican beauty queen who was arrested running guns with drug dealers. Not an ancient, washed up babe, either; she is the reigning Miss Whatever Random Mexican State of 2008, third place in Miss Mexico. The question, of course, is whether this makes her more or less hot. I believe the answer is clearly an unequivocal "Yes".

(Hat-tip: Drudge)

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Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Childcare in the Recession

We have expanded, well, whatever the opposite of that word is, to giving you links and short snippets of things we find interesting due to the rigor of the end of the year. (contemplating suicide, drinking heavily, and contemplating suicide again)

So here is a child care segment from the Orange County Public Broadcasting, that makes me want to have a child.

Skippomac contends his children are indeed a blessing due to his immense amount of time for practicing beer can throwing. (He coined that not me, I just steal the phrase with reckless abandon, giving no credit to it's author).

In essence, when Daddy is out of a beer, you throw the empty at his head until he knows better than to leave you thirsty. Skippomac's children, Whitey and Darkie, 2 and 4, respectively, are a little slow to the take. (They take after their father)

Due to the fact that they don't understand "the game," his house is littered with beer cans, dented children and a disgruntled wife that was forced to decorate the family tree, with, you guessed it, dented beer cans.

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George W. Bush Resigns, Says Bush Text to Speech Editor

Says, "F*ck You, I Resign!"

This works for a good 5 minute time waster for you unfortunate schmucks who have to work tomorrow. (read, me) Type anything in the box and Bush reads it back verbatim! Boy, he sure has a filthy mouth. He must've said every expletive I could think of! And some I made up on the spot! Jizznut!

Bush Can Be Your Puppet

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Monday, December 22, 2008

Proof That I'm A Genius and Barney from The Simpsons is too.

Contemplating life's largest problems while drunk and alone.

And my newest excuse for showing up to work late.

B0ss: "Why are you late, again, peon!"
Me: "Because I'm too smart to get here on time."

Smart kids more likely to be heavy drinkers. From the London Times

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REVERSE SEINFELD: Good Samaritans can now be sued for attempting to help in California. Making official the old saying "No good deed goes unpunished".

(Hat-tip: HotAir.com)

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich Arrested

Bring a toothbrush.

The radio out here in Chicago is reporting that the troubled Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, was arrested by federal authorities earlier this morning. (Click here for breaking news on the arrest). Since this news is breaking at a little after 8 a.m., I think it is safe to assume that the arrest happened at a time of day which suggests that the evidence against him is rock-solid and the man is well and truly screwed. If there were any question as to the man's guilt in the eyes of the feds, they would probably either not arrest a sitting governor or at least give him the decency of a decent breakfast first. Initial reports suggest that he was trying to parlay his choice of replacements for Obama's senate seat into a sweet personal gig. Ah, Chicago.

Blagojevich has been under investigation since 2005 for a system of "pay-to-play" politics in his administration. Last month, according to a Chicago Tribune story that broke on Friday, feds apparently got judicial permission to secretly record Blagojevich on concerns that the decision on who to fill Barack Obama's soon-to-be-vacant senate seat was being tainted by a corrupt process.

So, most likely, the leaked news report forced the feds to put together a raid since the secret recordings were no longer a secret and they felt they were going to get no more info from the wiretap. So why didn't they do it immediately on Friday? Almost certainly the answer is bureaucratic politics and process. First, someone in the justice department chain-of-command had to authorize requesting the warrant. All the way up the chain, I would imagine because the era of the solo crusading prosecutor is long dead. At each step the men on the scene had to answer a slew of questions about the case, the evidence and the governor's probable defense.

All-in-all, feds aren't perfect, but they are really good at what they do and don't take risks. They have a nearly 100% conviction rate and only pull the trigger as a matter of form when the subject is already fundamentally settled. If you are arrested by the feds, you are almost certainly done for. Rob Blagojevich is done for.
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Monday, December 1, 2008

Whopper Virgins

These virgins will do ANYTHING for a whopper!

Get your mind out of the gutter you gluttonous, pervert! The heavens have not answered your prayers and finally made a porno about your two favorite things! What can this be you ask? Oh well, you'll only have to wait only to wait 5 Days 11 Hours 50 Minutes 10 Seconds to be disappointed.

Ok, Ok, I'll stop with the suspense so you can stop dancing around like you're doing the Pee Pee Dance. Click through for all the answers.

Well you know that huge grudge match that is currently going on that rivals the Cold War? No, not America's War on Terror. No, not America's War on Drugs. And no, not America's War on Keeping the Black Man Down. (that's over, in case you don't read newspapers...) It's grudge match between Burger King and McDonald's! Talk about taking it to a new level! They are going all out this time. Burger King has paid for a documentary that follows one man, Stacey Peralta, the legendary skateboarder and one of the original members of the Z Boys (Dogtown and the Z boys, he directed that too but is now doing glorified commercials for hamburgers) via:

"13 planes, 2 dog sleds, 1 helicopter. From a remote hill village in Thailand, a rural farming community in Romania and the icy tundra of Greenland. Real locations. Real burgers. Real Whopper Virgins. No nostalgia, no preconceived notions. No kings or clowns."
I gotta stop and say BURN!!!! on that one. They continue with all the boring details to give it some legitimacy:

"Watch the Whopper Virgins take their first bite. Conducted by independent, third party researchers.See what people think when no one has told them what to think. Whopper vs. Big Mac. See what the Whopper Virgins will decide."
Damnnnn! That's some powerful shit! I can't wait. I wonder what they will decide? will the special sauce throw them off? Will the size comparison be off putting? Wait a minute....It's called Whopper Virgins! Not Burger Virgins! Dammit! I call a do over! DO OVER! I have been kind enough to place the screenshot by screenshot so you don't have to sit through the annoying presentation method they opted for on their website.

Whopper Virgins

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