Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Laughter Is The Best Medicine For This Crisis We Are In

So I give you Darrell Bluett, the world's worst comedian. More »

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Love in the first degree

Sometimes life gives you a hand full of nothing. Then, sometimes it gives you a hand full of shit. You can neither discern between nothing, or shit. I discerned for everything. I waited and I wanted. I got neither. I stared at goats and got everything. Fighting for something does not equal losing everything. Getting your shit together will get it all back home again. June is the new Easter. See you soon. Sorry to be so cryptic. Love you baby. Here is the first time i have given a fake photo of us. Watch Randy Owen, he's not really playing the guitar.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Fat Kids: Fat Kid Lights Himself on Fire

Fat Kids have always been a source of entertainment for me. While chatting with Skippomac today he sent me another link proving that Texas is yet again the most badass state in the land. I told you previously about the Texas High School basketball team that was beaten 100-0 (they were mentally handicapped, the victors, NOT!) Well here we have "Fight Clubs being held at the home of the retarded"

Apparently the school has been around since 1970 and has the most entertaining physical education program in the world.

He told me he was conflicted about that and I was like, "Why? Free + Awesome = Unconflicted"

Then he goes on: "I would love to stage retard fights, but I know it is something you just think about, not actually DO."

That my friends is the difference between a Texan and an Oregonian. This is the first in a new segment I am gonna call 'Fat Kids.' It's basically going to surround the theme of fat kids doing stupid shit and people doing stupid shit to fat kids. After the jump, watch a fat kid spray HIMSELF down with lighter fluid and set himself on fire. What do you think happens? FREE + AWESOME, that's what happens.

Here are some screenshots for the technologically impaired.

Retards Can't Jump
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Monday, March 9, 2009

Add Bacon To Any Website To Make It Better

Chick-a-bac-a-pedia.com © Mumbles

What's better than a website full of hot chicks? (Trying to keep this safe for work, pervs...) A website full of hot chicks covered in bacon! Thanks to some weirdo with too much time on his hands, this effect can be achieved on any site. Click through for the how to!

I just suckered you into the click through! Just type the full website address (with http://) after: http://bacolicio.us/

For example this blog would be: http://bacolicio.us/http://mumbletomyneighbor.blogspot.com/

If you want to make links more interesting, I suggest typing original link and then inserting the bacon hyperlink so the users have no idea what the hell happened. Like this: www.google.com

In gmail, just type the link as the receiver is used to seeing it, then insert the hyperlink by pressing:

In outlook, just type CTRL + K or Insert -> Hyperlink and type desired text as below:

Ok, now have a blast wasting you and your coworkers time! Chickipedia and other Pedia Websites were reviewed before here at : Pedia Websites

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Thursday, March 5, 2009

Russian Nuclear Power Plant Calendar Goes Nuclear

Russia never ceases to entertain. When times get tough, why not make a calendar! You know, to remind everyone of that nuclear success that was Chernobyl which required the evacuation and resettlement of 336,000 people and cost $200 billion to only partially repair. (I know it's technically the Ukraine, but to me, Soviet Union will always be considered Russia...)

Never you mind, the calendar will not feature the human and animal victims mutated after the fallout. That wouldn't sell too well! It's going to feature females who are employed in Russian power plants. All proceeds will go to the funding of Putin's Russian Major Motion Picture debut, PUTIN POWER! Putin single-handedly destroys the USA, and then China. Oh and he crushes Georgia on his way back from getting a pack of cigarettes. 11 more photos of the nominees after the jump.

Photos from EnglishRussia
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Tuesday, March 3, 2009



Which one is the best fake Dogfish? You decide!

There is a new breed of a strange looking, prehistoric type dogfish that has washed up onshore at an undisclosed location, by an undisclosed person at an undisclosed time. I call "bullshit" first! The thing is when we got to talking about it, this ain't the first fake dogfish to be found on the intrawebs. They're everywhere! I've collected three good ones, with some commentary and analysis. Wait til you see the video of "Dogfish C," he's so real and cute you're gonna immediately attempt to train your dog (at the sight of a Beggin Strip!) to hump your pet goldfish in the footsteps of your Idol, Ilya Ivanovich Ivanov, aka the real life Dr. Moreau. Click through for all the details and video.

Dogfish A

The thing you have to think about in this picture is the amount of time it takes to create a fake photo in photoshop versus creating a fake animal with some paint and glue. My photshop skills are three-legged dog at best, but this one looks like it would take some time. The obvious errors that are pointed out below are baffling. I mean why would it take so much time to snap the photos that all the seagulls leave in the second photo. And have time for the pink seacow to show up in the third? And the fourth photo? Why would they need to cut and past the dogfish back into the same background? And do so as horrible as they did? I mean the mistake wouldn't have been noticeable if they would have cropped it. [CLICK TO ENLARGE PHOTOS]

Dogfish B

This looks as if it were an entry to a photoshop contest held everyday on the website Worth1000. This is a great site and the "artists" on there amazing. I mean, while you guys are trying to cut and paste your best friends face onto that of the fat girl you tried to finger bang last night, the true professionals are spending their time creating masterpieces such as those below.

Dogfish C

This one wins. Watch. The soundtrack makes me wispy.

If you liked this you'll probably like another cryptozoological post titled Plum Island of Dr. Moreau. (click here)

Dogfish A: Academifantasia
Dogfish B: Worth1000

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