Friday, June 26, 2009

Don't Think For Yourself, Google's Got You

Wow, you muthas are morbid. Michael's body is not even in the fground yet and and you 4channers want to be out their telling Michael Jackson Death Jokes. As a matter of fact, someone already registered . (they are not limited to jokes of him dying, but anything to do with MJ is open season...) But this info come from Google Suggest. The service that Google's search engine supplies you with based on other searches at the time. From their site:

That's pretty cool. How does it do that?
Our algorithms use a wide range of information to predict the queries users are most likely to want to see. For example, Google Suggest uses data about the overall popularity of various searches to help rank the refinements it offers. An example of this type of popularity information can be found in the Google Zeitgeist. Google Suggest does not base its suggestions on your personal search history.

I have collected a few after the jump. Get crazy, try it out to see what other people are googling about your mom!

This is eerie. I know she's a skank, but whos always googling to see if Britney is dead? Oh, right, That would be K-Fed. Cha-Ching!

Google Suggest

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Russia Commercializes Pirate Killing for The Lifestyle of the Rich & Famous

I think this is Howard Hughes, he's rich, isn't he?

Cruises are awesome. I've never been on one, but I did see that movie with Al Pacino from 1980 where he goes undercover in the gay New York nightclub/sex scene. This involves about 2 hours of Pacino fighting with himself over whether or not he wants to give dudes blow jobs and have gay anal sex, if you know what I mean. The movie contains such classic lines as:

  • Patrolman DiSimone: C'mere. I wanna show you my night stick.


  • Stuart Richards: How big are ya?
Steve Burns: Party size.

But the point of this is that there is no point. Some Russian genius decided there was nothing against making a few rubles of the current pirate problem while combining some of the few things that Russian billionaires enjoy the most: pounding vodka, getting a tan and shooting guns. (replace the alcohol with whatever is local and you cover about 80% of the male population...)

Luxury ocean liners are now charging up to £3,500 a day to go out off the Somali coast and pirate hunt. You get to keep whatever you shoot! For an extra 5 pounds you can get an AK-47 for a whole day! Buy a box of a 100 bullets for 7 quid more! Hell, you're a billionaire, treat yourself to a case!

In order to promise the most action possible, the luxury cruise liner promises to troll at the speed of only 5 knots. Oh, and you're protected by a group of ex special forces troop. So yeah, you're bound to get a head to mount on the wall in your smoking den...

Oh yeah, and seeing as this is a post on the internet, Michael Jackson died. Oh, and it's Take Your Bitch To Work Day.

From Ananova via Wirtschaftsblatt
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Jeff Goldblum is not dead

People are stupid. Hoaxsters aren't even bothering to change the details in a hoax that killed Tom Hanks and Tony Danza in 2006, Screech in 2007 and Brad Pitt just this march. But that hasn't stopped twidiots from going bananas. Googling the first line of the press release is all it took to discover the truth. Thanks, Aunt Dipshit for wasting my precious inbox space. Stupid whore.

Conclusive evidence HERE.

Now, jumping from a NZ cliff would be a pretty cool way for a celeb to commit suicide, though, because everyone would THINK it was a hoax.

If You
Think Jeff Goldblum Is Dead, You Probably Liked the Tall Guy

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Thursday, June 4, 2009

Bob Munden : Gunslinging Badass

I'm braindead today so I'm not gonna sit here and ramble on trying to be clever just to end up sounding like a jackass. This video of Bob Munden, the fastest gunman in the world. He holds every (there are 18) record in the Guinness book related to shooting guns quickly. However, you can't get as good as he is without giving up something. Robert Johnson exchanged his soul, Bob gave up the ability to NOT come off as a complete and utter asshole.

He wears this badge and takes it seriously for christsakes!

Just watch the video after the jump.

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

PROJECT NATAL: Game Controllers Out, Voice and Motion Recognition In

Yesterday, Microsoft tore through the glass ceiling previous put in place by the Nintendo Wii with PROJECT NATAL at the 2009 Electronic Entertainment Expo in Los Angeles. Project Natal essentially does away with ALL controllers whatsoever. The camera/game software has both voice and movement recognition software with the possibilities limiting you to...well, nothing. So that shit in the Lawnmower Man, well, were almost there.

The demo that I have here is very primitive, and for some reason revolves around befriending a young boy named Milo. (That'll get your attention, you ole pederast, you!)

The Milo Demo starts by introducing yourself to him and he recognizes you by walking to where you are standing. He then takes you down to the pier, throws you a joint and then slowly massages your shoulders while singing "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay," not in the expected Otis Redding style, but in the style of Michael Bolton. It's pretty amazing. (both Bolton's version and the fact that Milo likes Bolton...)

Nah, I just made up most of that shit.

Don't listen to me, just watch the demo after the jump. If your interested in this type of stuff I posted the full demo from the conference where you can see how the actual movements of the player react on screen. The demo is done live and in front of a studio audience so no illusions there! Click through for videos.

And look at that Claire! Boy is she a looker! And what is that grey thing on top of the XBOX?

I'll put up the live demo in a bit, it loads a lil slow and is around 10 minutes long but much more detailed.

via Peter via Joystiq.

Live Demo via Vgchartz

Thanks Peter.
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