Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Jack Nicholson's 1978 Car

Was hydrogen powered. I'm so confused with this stuff. By the way, when she keeps saying "kerrs," she really means what we English speakers usually refer to as "cars."

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Finally! You know, my summer drink was getting kind of old (vodka and Hawaiian Punch, Yo!) but now I have a viable substitute for chillaxin.

I introduce you to Drank, "the anti-energy drink." I know this came out awhile ago, but my summer drink does make me miss things from time to time. I haven't seen anyone drinking it around my hood or at the barbecues I've been hanging out at so I assume the world has not been totally informed.

Back in Houston, this was popular, also known as syrup or lean. DJ Screw sure liked it and we liked DJ Screw so we wanted to drink the drank but never could get our hands on cough syrup with enough codeine to make it worthwhile. I would've mixed it with Dr. Pepper. Yum, yum!

But now a totally legal approach of getting your lean on totally absent of pharmaceuticals! However it does contain extremely gangsta amounts of melatonin, rose hips (huh?) and the kicker, valerian root. No, I know what your thinking, and it's not horny goat weed, so I'll save you that mistake right there. I wish someone would have done that for me, otherwise I wouldn't have a 12 pack of the nastiest shit I've ever tasted in my fridge. Valerian root is the stuff they told Tyler Durden to chew on when he couldn't sleep. Kanye needs to get on this shit, make that mutha chill the fuck out....

Just in case you would like to get a visual representation of what one would like while consuming Drank (and the company's probable target market) watch this.

So in short, I think I'll be sticking my lovely cocktail that I call Hawaiian Drunch. Recipe follows:

1 Big Gulp Cup
1 Bottle of Barton's Vodka
1 2 Liter of Hawaiian Punch (don't get the cheap stuff, treat yourself!)
1 bag of ice

Take cup and fill with ice, fill with vodka up to ice level (I like alot of ice) fill remaining space with Hawaiian Punch. Enjoy. This is healthy by the way, the HP contains 100% vitamin C.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Plum Island of Dr. Moreau

Interesting post on Gawker today regarding a very strange, mutated looking animal that was found off of Montauk. Here it is:

Many comments ensued speculating as to what it was. Right click and "save as" to find out what it really is (or one commenters guess that made sense to me...) Some of my favorites:

siouxnyc : "
I heard something similar washed up on Fire Island, but it was wearing a feather boa. The plot thickens."

BGGA : "also, is that a yellow 'live strong' bracelet on it's right forepaw?"

NinaHagen : "Anything missing from Plum Island? That is the facility being spoke of I believe. Anthrax, hoof & mouth - they got it all. That is my factoid of the day. []"

mrconsig : "Viral marketing for Indian Point?"

The point being is, I knew there was some very fucked up shit that took place out there, ($20 Kobe beef dogs, anyone?) but had never heard of said, Plum Island. Some highlights from the article.


1. The Plum Island government facility of 840 acres is accessible by ferryboat or helicopter, about one and a half miles off Orient Point, the easternmost hamlet on the North Fork of Long Island. Not to be confused with the wildlife preserve of the same name, Plum Island is home to a series of labs which are officially categorized by the USDA as an animal research facility.

2. In 1954, operating under the guise of an animal research facility, the USDA and the Army jointly constructed two bio-containment quarantines, Lab 257 and Lab 101. During this time, the United States was in the beginnings of the Cold War, a time best noted for nuclear proliferation and the space race. One of the lesser-known activites of this period was Project Paperclip, a top-secret program in which the Unites States government recruited former Nazi scientists of varying specialization and brought them to America, along with employment contracts and full citizenship, to continue their studies in the Cold-War rush for military superiority. The full number of scientists recruited in this way is unknown, but estimated at anywhere from five hundred to two thousand persons.

3. Initially, Lab 101 was the first building on the compound to be compromised. During a particularly strong storm in 1969, extreme winds blew sections of the roof from the building and tore the exterior door from its hinges. Employees were quick to respond, and all biological agents were verified to be secure, but the potential of what could have been an outbreak was not lost on the staff.

4. In 1971, Lab 257, which housed the deadliest germs on Plum Island, lost power due to a downed electric line. The power remained out for several hours, during which time the air filtration system failed and began allowing potentially virulent air out of the containment facility and into the environment. Like the previous incident, all biological agents were reported to be secure, but for weeks afterward an abnormal amount of animal carcasses, mostly birds, were found all over the island.

5. Staffing was also an issue. Given the somewhat remote location of the lab, employees would be on the island for days or weeks at a time, sleeping in the barracks and eating at in-house facilities until their "weekend", when they could return to the mainland until their next shift. Due to this trying nature of the work, it was allegedly commonplace for security guards to end their shift and leave, without being relieved by a fresh detail, leaving the facilities unsecured and accessible to virtually anyone.

6. During the 1970s, reports of Lyme Disease began surfacing in New York, Connecticut, and New Jersey. A southern virus springing up so far north (and suspiciously close to a well-known germ facility) prompted complaints from citizens and ex-employees about Plum Island's secretive and controversial nature. Soon afterwards, Long Island Congressman Thomas Downey launched an investigation into the island which eventually turned up interesting results. A internal research document recovered from the island, entitled "African Swine Fever", revealed that: Plum Island was experimenting with the Lone Star tick and the Cayenne tick, feeding them on viruses and testing them on pigs, during the time Lyme disease was being reported far from its original habitat. They did not transmit African swine fever to pigs, said the document, but they might have transmitted it to researchers or to the island's vectors. Naturally, this was a public relations disaster, and Plum Island remained a topic of controversy for years.

7. Although the government has long maintained that bioweapons research is not being conducted there, on August 24, 2006 President George W. Bush requested $23 million be set aside in the defense budget to upgrade key structures of the facility, possibly bringing it up to BL4, the highest level of biocontainment usually reserved for bioweapons storage.


Anyways, I started looking on Google Maps to see if I could see any Cloverfield type shit down there (I didn't, however, the beaches actually look pretty nice), but I did find a nice little insignia on one of the helipads left by our friends the Nazis, no doubt, as the were continuing on the US Government sponsored quest for the SuperRace...(see pt. 2)

Check out tinWiki for more details. Leave any strange Plum Island stories in the comments section.

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Many Thanks to Orvar Atli for these wonderful photos... More »

Mister Rogers

(Mental Floss) -- Here are 15 things everyone should know about Fred Rogers:

Every one of Mr. Roger's cardigan sweaters was hand-knitted by Fred Rogers' mother.

1. Even Koko the Gorilla loved him. Most people have heard of Koko, the Stanford-educated gorilla who could speak about 1000 words in American Sign Language, and understand about 2000 in English.

What most people don't know, however, is that Koko was an avid Mister Rogers' Neighborhood fan. As Esquire reported, when Fred Rogers took a trip out to meet Koko for his show, not only did she immediately wrap her arms around him and embrace him, she did what she'd always seen him do onscreen: she proceeded to take his shoes off!

2. He made thieves think twice. According to a TV Guide piece on him, Fred Rogers drove a plain old Impala for years. One day, however, the car was stolen from the street near the TV station. When Rogers filed a police report, the story was picked up by every newspaper, radio and media outlet around town.

Amazingly, within 48 hours the car was left in the exact spot where it was taken from, with an apology on the dashboard. It read, "If we'd known it was yours, we never would have taken it."

3. He watched his figure to the pound. In covering Rogers' daily routine (waking up at 5 a.m.; praying for a few hours for all of his friends and family; studying; writing, making calls and reaching out to every fan who took the time to write him; going for a morning swim; getting on a scale; then really starting his day), writer Tom Junod explained that Mr. Rogers weighed in at exactly 143 pounds every day for the last 30 years of his life.

He didn't smoke, didn't drink, didn't eat the flesh of any animals, and was extremely disciplined in his daily routine. And while I'm not sure if any of that was because he'd mostly grown up a chubby, single child, Junod points out that Rogers found beauty in the number 143.

According to the piece, Rogers came "to see that number as a gift... because, as he says, "the number 143 means 'I love you.' It takes one letter to say 'I' and four letters to say 'love' and three letters to say 'you.' One hundred and forty-three."

4. He saved both public television and the VCR. Strange but true. When the government wanted to cut public television funds in 1969, the relatively unknown Mister Rogers went to Washington.

Almost straight out of a Frank Capra film, his 5-6 minute testimony on how TV had the potential to give kids hope and create more productive citizens was so simple but passionate that even the most gruff politicians were charmed. While the budget should have been cut, the funding instead jumped from $9 to $22 million.

Rogers also spoke to Congress, and swayed senators into voting to allow VCR's to record television shows from the home. It was a cantankerous debate at the time, but his argument was that recording a program like his allowed working parents to sit down with their children and watch shows as a family.

5. He might have been the most tolerant American ever. Mister Rogers seems to have been almost exactly the same off-screen as he was onscreen. As an ordained Presbyterian minister, and a man of tremendous faith, Mister Rogers preached tolerance first.

Whenever he was asked to castigate non-Christians or gays for their differing beliefs, he would instead face them and say, with sincerity, "God loves you just the way you are." Often this provoked ire from fundamentalists.

6. He was genuinely curious about others. Mister Rogers was known as one of the toughest interviews because he'd often befriend reporters, asking them tons of questions, taking pictures of them, compiling an album for them at the end of their time together, and calling them after to check in on them and hear about their families. He wasn't concerned with himself, and genuinely loved hearing the life stories of others.

And it wasn't just with reporters. Once, on a fancy trip up to a PBS exec's house, he heard the limo driver was going to wait outside for 2 hours, so he insisted the driver come in and join them (which flustered the host).

On the way back, Rogers sat up front, and when he learned that they were passing the driver's home on the way, he asked if they could stop in to meet his family. According to the driver, it was one of the best nights of his life the house supposedly lit up when Rogers arrived, and he played jazz piano and bantered with them late into the night. Further, like with the reporters, Rogers sent him notes and kept in touch with the driver for the rest of his life.

7. He was color-blind. Literally. He couldn't see the color blue. Of course, he was also figuratively color-blind, as you probably guessed. As were his parents, who took in a black foster child when Rogers was growing up.

8. He could make a subway car full of strangers sing. Once while rushing to a New York meeting, there were no cabs available, so Rogers and one of his colleagues hopped on the subway. Esquire reported that the car was filled with people, and they assumed they wouldn't be noticed.

But when the crowd spotted Rogers, they all simultaneously burst into song, chanting "It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood." The result made Rogers smile wide.

9. He got into TV because he hated TV. The first time he turned one on, he saw people angrily throwing pies in each other's faces. He immediately vowed to use the medium for better than that. Over the years he covered topics as varied as why kids shouldn't be scared of a haircut, or the bathroom drain (because you won't fit!), to divorce and war.

10. He was an Ivy League dropout. Rogers moved from Dartmouth to Rollins College to pursue his studies in music.

11. He composed all the songs on the show, and over 200 tunes.

12. He was a perfectionist, and disliked ad libbing. He felt he owed it to children to make sure every word on his show was thought out.

13. Michael Keaton got his start on the show as an assistant. He helped puppeteer and operate the trolley.

14. Several characters on the show are named for his family. Queen Sara is named after Rogers' wife, and the postman Mr. McFeely is named for his maternal grandfather who always talked to him like an adult, and reminded young Fred that he made every day special just by being himself. Sound familiar? It was the same way Mister Rogers closed every show.

15. The sweaters. Every one of the cardigans he wore on the show had been hand-knit by his mother.

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Update on the L.M., foolz

I was going to the train this morning and saw some little fat kid beating his mother with a banana and then she told him "money didn't grow on trees" and made him eat what was left of it. I was waiting for the "but bananas do" remark but he looked like he was enjoying the banana mush too much to talk. The kid reminded me of someone and it's been bugging me all morning. Then I just remembered. It was everone's favorite "Hoodrat Stuff" role model, Latarian Milton and thought maybe someone might have missed this as I did. He's gonna be on Judge Judy this fall.

For those of you who missed out, Latarian is a child with a wonderful way with words and can make a grandmother think twice before accepting something that is lying on her doorstep by way of her skank of a daughter. Here's an entertaining video of him in action with the newscasters outlining his history.

Photo stolen from scoopedlikeicecream More »

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


Ever looked for something on your local page to only come up with very few results? Craigslist is intended to be community based, But Wired Magazine recently came up with a way to tap onto all types of local deals outside of your region. I can't believe i didn't think of this.

In your google search engine just type: “dead puppies”

3 entries!

Wired More »

Peru Loves Guinea Pigs

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Friday, July 18, 2008


So your parents get murdered right? In their sleep. And your all, my parents just got shot! Who's gonna make me cereal? Damn! I need to get dressed and deal with the cops and all the reporters. I'm so upset, I can't think of what to wear! I'll just wear this...

I mean, really, that's all you could find?I think someone would now like to have a word with you. Oh yeah, you weren't even a suspect.

And the other certifiable crazy, Mr. Peter "The Fake Fireman Who Stabbed Himself in the Neck 40 Times in Prison like Pesci in Casino" Braunstein. This guy creeps me out.

He was sentenced to an additional 23 years for a doctor he had attacked previously in Ohio. He didn't give a fuck. He's all:

"That [parole] is predicated on the belief that I would live," he said. "There was an absurdist quality to this proceeding, because I'm never getting out of prison in New York."

That's what he said, not his lawyer. Looks like he's used the time locked up to really clear his head.


Peter More »

Thursday, July 17, 2008


When I was a child, I used to marvel on the possibilities of nature when inspecting a piece of my father's petrified wood that he used as a paperweight for the bills that served as a visual measuring stick for our debt. That lead us to our place. It was so...well...old. I was also fascinated with dinosaurs and spent a large amount of time reading those books in aisles of the library without actually checking them out. (my last name made me a source of ridicule at the counter, imagine that, being ridiculed at the library checkout counter)

Now that I am older I still become amazed on these simple things, evolution, creationism, black holes, wtf? There are speeds of light? I still don't understand that shit. But being from Texas and a piece of the home of the Wild West I wander and think of a time when things were so much simpler. A time when men spoke what they thought and said what they did. (and according to this series did both better than we do)

And then theres the thought of reverse evolutionism. Are we getting dumber as the world gets older? Not a new topic by any means but one worth contemplating. Here is season one in all its glory of Deadwood. They solved problems at hand by dealing with them by hands, not emails. Fall in love with Ian McShane. I dare you. Implement in this character in your life. POST results. It took me a few times to get into it but i really think it's amazingly brilliant. Enough to watch again.

I played a game when I first watched all three seasons in two weeks, every time they drink whiskey, you do. It's fun to me, but maybe you don't think fun is getting ate by pigs...Wait, I mean feeding people to pigs. (much more funner) Stay away from the Tile bar during happy hour on Wednesday - Friday, it messes with your coordination. This post proves it.

the link.


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So there's this guy that works with me. For the sake of respecting people's anonymity we'll just call him "Esteban". He's probably the only guy I work with that could roll with me through my hood and have a good time. Wait, no there's one more, but that's probably it. So he's coming in through the revolving doors downstairs and sees "this fine-ass chick just staring at me" and doesn't know what's going on. So he starts scoping her out when the next lady who comes through the doors points quietly and says "There she is...and she staring right at you." So Esteban now knows it's not in his head and all of a sudden some girl goes up and asks the woman for a photograph.

Now Esteban's like losing his mind now. His man junk is jumping around like a room full of ninjas and he grows a pair and walks up to talk to her. The conversation, paraphrased of course:

Esteban: I just wanted to tell you, you look beautiful today, miss.

Fineasschick: I know, but thank you.

Esteban: What brings you into this building?

Fineasschick: I was just doing an interview at the radio station.

Esteban: So what's your plans now? Why are you just waiting in the lobby?

Fineasschick: I'm waiting for my limo.

Esteban: Oh, that sounds nice, so you wanna go out or something tonite? I'll show you around?

Fineasschick: I would like to but i have to go out with my family tonite and we're leaving early for LA tomorrow.

Esteban: Awww, that's too bad. Well can I take a picture with you seeing as everyone else is and I don;t know ho you are?

Fineasschick:(Not believing what shes hearing...) I'm Kim Kardashian.

So now Esteban knows he's heard that name before (esteban lives in a cave by the way and doesn't read newspapers) and it's starts filtering through his mind and then it hits him, she's on the cover and centerfold of a a magazine he has at home he keeps under his mattress. Esteban takes a photo. He comes upstairs and tells me. Some days, I wish I was "Esteban".

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I just saw this on the subway this morning. I hate this guy so much. What a fuckin asshole. What is he selling? New album? Movie? No. Just himself. "Dr. Douche, Dr. Douche, we have a cleanup on aisle 9..."

"Now that he don't kill me
Can only make me vomit longer
I need you to hurry up now
Cause I can't wait much longer"

I don't know if he knows it or not but he's advertising on the G train. What does that stand for? But what do I know, to get home from work I take the F to the A to the G. I hate my fucking life.

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

KFC offers $Tit.99 Tuesdays

This is true. The local KFC here in BedStuy offers $2.99 Tuesdays. A breast, a biscuit and a side order for less than 3 bucks. PETA just doesn't understand to get people to stop eating chicken, they should leave all the bare breasted females out of the free advertising, however, this protest was in San Francisco, which is why I'm typing this with chicken grease on my fingers. Hey, we're in a recession here.

(greenpacks) More »

Banksy Identified?

Well, well, well...It looks like everyone's favorite mystery artist is a mystery no more. The artist formerly known as Banksy made a nice name for himself by tastefully placing his choice graffiti in very interesting locations and selling paintings to the likes of Brangelina for gobs of money.

Well I guess now he'll make even more ridiculous amounts of money now that they can put a face with a name. I don't know about you but I wouldn't feel too comfortable paypalling thousands of dollars to just because he wants to keep his identity secret. Now he can open a proper gallery and call it Gunningham's. Just doesn't have the same ring to it. Art examples after the jump. Thank the

Daily Mail

for raining on our Major League Parade today.

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