Sunday, March 28, 2010

Hard Ticket to Hawaii Online

Wow, this movie is awesome. A piece of cinematic genius that makes Die Hard look like a home movie. IMDB summarizes the movie as follows:

Two drug enforcement agents are killed on a private Hawaiian island. Donna and Taryn, two operatives for The Agency, accidentally intercept a delivery of diamonds intended for drug lord Seth Romero, who takes exception and tries to get them back. Soon other Agency operatives get involved, and a full-scale fight to the finish ensues, complicated here and there by an escaped snake made deadly by Toxic Waste!

If they wanted to be more accurate they should have said:

Two big breasted Playboy Playmates (Dona Speir,March 1984 & Hope Marie Carlton July 1985) hang with 2 badasses, one of which whose name is "Rowdy Abilene" who track down bad guy druglords, actions scenes have razor bladed frisbees and crack dialogue such as, "If brains were bird crap, your cage would be clean."

They ingeniously reshow ALL the nude scenes (of which there are plenty) during the credits. That's the way to keep'em in their seats. The DVD even has easter eggs or hidden footage (of fifteen seconds of naked chicks) that the normal viewer wouldn't know about. (This is just for serioous pervs but to access go to Main Menu, highlight Bonus Features and press right.) The director Andy Sidaris is very loyal to the girl/gun genre. This is one of his first films so he has yet to perfect the art of...well, directing. To get an idea of how awesomely bad the character/action scenes are in this movie watch the clip after the jump. And I even found a copy you can watch online so you don't have to witness the embarrassment that comes with the snobbish video clerk silently judging you behind his zits and glasses. I'm telling you, I haven't witnessed anything this bad since my elementary school rendition of Little Donkey in the third grade. Enjoy.

Watch Hard Ticket to Hawaii online streaming, HERE.

Other mumbletomyneighbor movie reviews, go HERE.

No comments: