Thursday, September 4, 2008


I don't know if you noticed or not but the Rhode Island Club that hosted Great White's pre or post 4th of July barbecue is forced to dish out 22 million dollars to victims. Now, most of my friends know me as a math guy. And when I say friends, I mean those that don't really know me, cause the only math I do is strip clubs = more money than I have. But nonetheless, I was thinking about this and thought, well, the easiest way to avoiding hair loss, was, well...avoiding a Great White Show in Providence. Analysis and awesome Great White music video after the jump.

At least 100 people died in the gasfire and pyrotechnics asspie that was the show, so I am assuming that 100 people lost their hair. I gave a bunch of attempts at investigative journalism, but unfortunately my fingers are only good for stabbing myself in the eye every time I try to inhale, so I'll leave it at this.

Of the hair color in America, between the colors of black, blonde, red and brown, (red being my least favorite) the cost to Great White per dead attendee was $1.96 per head of lost hair). That's alot to pay per fan for a revival band. Oh, and I used the low end of the spectrum for those that are suffering for hair loss. I think. My math gets shady as I get pushed further under the tub.

So I think this is a new interesting metric for both the financial and political world. Skippomac, care to do the details on the cost of a political campaign per hairs on a voter's head? How much does it cost to win their hair? And is it more economically efficient to court the older set (those with much hair loss) or the younger Rock The Vote set? Length of hair doesn't count. Just how much you burn in the end.

This was just one large excuse to post this video. I hate Great White, but I love White Snake, or this song rather. Listen to David Coverdale's voice from the remake of Bobby Bland's classic, "Ain't No Love In The Heart Of The City" repopularized by Jay Z's intro and outro song for American Gangster and the solo from guitarist Micky Moody or Bernie Marsden. Thanks, Larry, for the education.

Tomorrow I will try to post ful statistical and financial analysis that I am known for, but I can't make any promises cause I am a bastard as stated in the profile. i will promise you that should I do so, all charts and graphs will have click throughs to scantily clad women that you or your pervert friends have never seen before. Take a report.

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