0Actual Nickname: Sir Cool Juggalo
In my extensive research on the Juggalo Gang Posse from Utah I found out a few things.
1. They are 4,000 strong
2. They are from Utah
3. They paint their faces like clowns
4. The name comes from what is regarded to be a fan of Insane Clown Posse (a female is a juggalette)
5. They like to kidnap little boys
The Lavender Panthers! The all gay vigilante group that struck back at gay bashers in San Francisco. Admittedly gay!
More info on Juggalos and photo collection after the jump.
As defined by one poster on ebaums world:
A juggalette is a morbidly obese and/or borderline-retarded 16-year-old girl who has zero friends and listens to the Insane Clown Posse religiously. Scientists have, within the last year, been able to prove that if you look into their eyes, you WILL turn into a cheeseburger and they WILL engage in an eat attack. They typically have worst-case-scenario acne and their love life does not exist beyond internet cybersex with juggalos.__________________
* 90% of all juggalettes have penises.
* Juggalettes can rarely spell properly.
* They are almost always captured when the bait is a stick of butter.
* All Juggalettes have throat chlamydia.
* They harbor extreme swamp crotch and when in close proximity, the aroma will seep into your lungs and you WILL die.
* Most have an outer layer of lard around the brain that slows even the most basic cognitive ability.
* "Juggalo For Life-a-low"
* "I'm down with the clown till I'm dead in the ground."
Aside from planning their afterlife in Shangri-la, some Juggalos have become good at stuff. Juggalo 'skillz' include:
* Taking your order with a smile
* Gaining weight
* Buying 60 dollar t-shirts
They also like to design the most horrible websites in the world talking about their sexual exploits. check out this one, he's famous.
The text is a little hard to read so i'll make it bigger for you:
"hey hey hey WHAT UP NINJA"S!!! life has been BUSY as fuck for this juggalo, this last weekend i made my big vegas porn movie premeir, at first i tried out for the part of COCKLOSUS in "seX-MEN 2" but it being my first tyme out, and me being a lil camra shy, i ended up settleing for a cameo appirenece in "the PHAT and the FURIOUS 9" if you check it out i'm in costume, i play the donkey."So be sure and put that one on your netflix folks. Sex Men 2. I have collected a few photos of this notorious band of miscreants for your viewing pleasure.
Real gangs from Cracked.
Seeing as this post has generated a few comments from actual juggalos. One from a real life "RETARD" juggalo who claims he is nothing like the Juggalos profiled in this post, however his comment is rife with misspellings and open ended threats. The second "enlightened" juggalo tries to align being a juggalo with some ancient chinese mysticsm. However with lyrics sucha as this "Sometimes I put em in a bowling bag and bring em to work, play with their hair under my desk with my barefoot" I have to say, "STFU." I an't buying it. Especially after watching the documentary that follows. Juggaloalex420 says that a real juggalo is not a sheep. To that I say "BAAAA." How can throwing a festival hours from civilization that lasts for multiple day with the only source of food, water, beer and merchandise come from Insane Clown Posse not be a sheepfest? Oh and they charge your dumbasses $150 bucks a ticket. To give them all your money, all weekend.
For an hour and a half of enough d - baggery to last a lifetime watch for free online...
The Juggalo Gathering Documentary : A Family Underground
UPDATE: Want more on Juggalos? here