Sunday, August 30, 2009

RAMBO V : DONATE BLOOD


What Rambo looks like now...
If you paste his head on Kim Jong Il's naked body, that is.

[UPDATE : Variety pulls their heads out of their asses and confirms what I told you about a year ago. Post, plot lines and spoilers after the jump!]


WTF? Rambo 5? Hollywood finally pulled their heads out of their asses and is starting to make real movies again! Enough of that arty, cutsie, love bug movies! I want some blood! And so does Rambo, cause he's like 80 and is in need of dialysis twice a day...

Rambo V will focus on him wheeling himself around and pitifully asking, "Donate blood to a war veteran? Donate blood, please sir?" It will be reality TV at its worse. And 2 hours long. And you have to pay $11.50 to see it. Hey, but at least they didn't have to pay Stallone to write another winner of a script!

[SPOILER ALERT: Rambo dies at the end! What you think anyone is gonna pay attention to a B-List has been long enough to donate blood? Gimme a break people, this is Hollywood!]

I like to think back when Rambo was awesome. Taking a gander at the Rambo death chart helps do that, even though it reminds me that Rambo only killed one person in the first one. Don't believe me? Click through for the stats.




Confirmation via Variety

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