Last night I put a bunch of new stuff on my new talking iPod shuffle that I won courtesy of this new contact management site called namet.ag, and am stoked to hear the newer Grizzly Bear record, so I start shuffling through my playlists and its not recognizing my awesomely clever names. You see, the Shuffle has no viewing screen, instead it talks to you and reads your playlists. So, of all my playlists have some sort of profanity in them because I am entertained by hearing a computer swear. This is the reason I immediately become exhasperated. And then it turns into anger because I realize I can't listen to the record because I can't find it. By now the rage is swelling to the point of "punch a homeless person fury," but I soldier on, settle into T Rex and go to work. Then I realize the shuffle function isn’t working as I’m about to get off the train. I’m about to throw the iPod into oncoming traffic when the T Rex album finishes and the next album comes on. Ted Nugent – Stranglehold. And all of a sudden I feel 10 feet tall. This is the perfect jam for walking down Madison Avenue or beating your girlfriend. This is an 8 minute epic song with awesome dirt rock lyrics like,
NOW I'VE BEEN SMOKING FOR SO LONG
YOU KNOW I'M HERE TO STAY
&
YOU REMEMBER THE NIGHT THAT YOU LEFT ME
YOU PUT ME IN MY PLACE
GOT YOU IN A STRANGLEHOLD NOW BABY
YOU BETTER CROSS YOUR WAY
&
GONNA CRUISE IS A B*TCH NOW BABY
YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DO ME 'ROUND
IF YOUR HOUSE GETS IN MY WAY BABY
YOU KNOW I'LL BURN IT DOWN
So it’s definitely for fans of the guitar. I don’t know how it compares to that dirty hippy music ( READ : FISH, WIDE SPREAD PANIC, STRING CHEESE INCIDENT or any other uber gay name you can think of...) you all like, but it’s pretty awesome. So if you all will excuse me, I’m gonna go start a fight with small mexican delivery guy from the restaurant across the street.. I’m pretty sure I can take him
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