Friday, January 2, 2009

Stop sending me the Kathy Griffin clip

Griffin puts ass in our face. People applaud.

I love hating people. It is arguably my number one leisure activity. I spend a great deal of time happily maintaining a long and detailed list of people I hate; sortable by degree of hatred, category of cause and last name.

Kathy Griffin has a spot on that list. Not a prominent spot; she sits a few pages deep, ranking somewhere above Ed Begley, Jr. and below anyone associated with "The Hills". As with most famous people I hate, it isn't the person I hate so much as their supporters/fans. Although the person usually helps. My feelings are complicated in Griffin's case because lots of people hate her and I hate those people too. Though not as much. This usually pushes me towards apathy in her case, but she occasionally raises her harpy head enough to draw my attention and maintain a spot on the list. Getting an Emmy, for example.

More immediately irritating, however, was the news that she was going to host the CNN New Year's Eve show. This small annoyance was then followed by her doing something on said show which has resulted in my inbox being filled with "Holy Shit!", "Check this out!", etc emails by her fans and haters alike. This incident epitomizes everything I hate about the woman. First, it is manufactured sensationalism. Griffin has admitted, in a moment of shocking lucidity, that she needs to generate controversy to keep her celebrity status. Second, it reveals her total lack of talent. The comment she made is more tired and well-used than John Daly's liver. Third, her uninformed fans cite it as evidence of the talent she doesn't have.

For those who haven't heard it, been emailed or seen it via the featured link on Drudge, she yelled "Shut up! I don't come to your job and knock the dick out of your mouth!" to someone yelling something offscreen at her. Hilarious. Or it was back in 1987 when I first heard Robin Harris (of "Bebe's Kids" fame) use it. I looked for a clip of Harris, who was a master of heckler assault, using the line but couldn't find it (some other Harris videos here). Even more, there is a guide to handling hecklers last updated in 1994 that references the line.

Which leads into my hatred for her ignorant, idiot fans. Jesus Christ. From the Post article:

"Priceless! I love it! That is why I am a huge fan of yours! Haha!" one poster said.

Another indicated that her husband is "already tired" of her repeating the vulgar remark.

"The comment you made to the heckler last night was awesome," another friend said. "I wish we could have seen Anderson Cooper's reaction! Hope you didn't get in trouble from CNN!"
Are you fucking kidding me? To summarize the flow of my rage; my third point is aggravated by my second point which is multiplied exponentially by the first point because it is succeeding so wonderfully for her. Fucking Kathy Griffin.

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