Mormon Explanation for the Origin of Black People

Black people aren't down with Jesus.

I used to know this kid in High School who was Mormon. Besides having a weird girl name (Cary) he was fairly normal. We didn't have any black people at our school so I never got see him enact with anyone except for white people in a one on one situation. But according to this cartoon, he thought they were aliens and not cool with Jesus. Now that I think about it, we used to screw with him in the locker room because he was still wearing cartoon underwear in the eleventh grade...so I guess that's pretty weird too.

"They decided to put all of Elohim’s many children on a planet, and that the planet needed a savior the bid, for it came down to Jesus and to Lucifer. But Jesus won out because he had unselfish reasons. But then Lucifer revolted and turned many of Elohim’s children against him, and they were banished to the earth, never to have physical bodies. The people who were on the side of Jesus were very light skinned. And the people who remained neutral in the battle, their skinned turned black and this is the Mormon explanation for the black race."

Mormonism Exposed



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Looking For That Special Someone?

Sorry I've been so lazy lately. But there's nothing like discovering a gay thug love dating website to get these fingers tapping again. Due to mumbletomyneighbor's dedication to bringing you all things fresh and new from the online dating forum of the world wide web, I give you gaythugdating.com

This site is hilarious. It has always amazed me as to why real thugs tolerate such things as gay thugs. I mean if I walked around my hood trying to be hard they wouldn't allow that for a minute. Why is it okay for a man that openly dreams of a Jonas Bros. foursome to walk around acting hard? I find it hard to believe that Omar Little was a real person. Click through for some real life profiles from the Number 1 Gay Thug Website. (There's more than one? Good Grief...)




Here's Proof. Surporisingly they are all "Man looking for a Man"...



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Sara Palin : Oprah Interview Highlights

"I loooooove Porn!"

If you're like me you probably didn't get to see Sarah Palin on the Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday. I wouldn't have watched even if I could have. But boy, would I have missed out! She discussed her love of porn and how hubby Todd plows her for hours after being asked why she stepped down from the governors office. I know she's never been known to stay on topic but this is ridiculous. Click through to watch the highlights after the jump...




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Make Me Mighty : Your Own Medieval Coat of Arms

Me taking a picture of my girl on the beach in Rio.

Sorry for the absence, been out with the swine flu. At least that's what i told my job. Really I was in Rio kicking it with my girl Shakira. I don't have time for a proper post, like 1,200 words on Mr. T. I did find something interesting today though to hold you over. Some people get all jazzed up over their lineage being traced back to royalty or some warlord of yore. Well, now you can just fake it. Click through with a step by step instruction of how to obtain your own badass of coat of arms for the rock bottom price of nothing. Thats right, it's free!


To start, go here: MakeMeMighty.ca

I know the .ca made me kind of dubious, too, but then I though everything from Canada can't be shitty. I mean, Neil Young is a badass, right?

Yeah so I was lying, you just type your name in the box and it does all the work. Just do it till you get one you like. Slap it up as your desktop wallpaper and get ready to make up some bullshit story when the office fatty rolls up on you. Here's mine, (click to enlarge):



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Angel

I sat down and left her for nothing as long as something came true. Her breath was warm and kept me whole. A step in the right path of unended horses fell to the trail that cowboys did. She was a woman that galloped in the right step of a show horse. She led a beautiful loser to a short sell that led the long hall to the hope that only existed in the oasis of blood that is bleeding. It is yours that will be signed in a red wonderment that will turn you in. That red will be your signature as long as your heart still pumps. More »

China's Got Talent : Monkey & Goat Walk a Tight Roap!

The internet has anything. This proves it. More »

Hot Mormon Mom Calendar

You may have seen this floating around, fortunately all the other sites don't have the photos I do. Click through for behind the scenes photo shoot. Might be NSFW due to some being in bras in panties!






























This is from the video series. You can find their youtube channel HERE. That beautiful pair below belongs Letitia "Sister" Farr.





Buy the calendar HERE. For more weird cchick themed calendars, go HERE. How did i start reviewing calendars...man my life is miserable.


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Badasses: Sudanese Rapper, Bangs

Click poster to enlarge print and hang on your wall, ceiling or cubicle.

Yo, Yo! So check out my boy Bangs here! Dopest rapper to come out of Footscray Australia via Egypt via North Khartoum, Sudan. That's hardcore, yo! You'd think his rhymes would be about the atrocities of Africa like Chuckie Taylor, but he doesn't roll that way. He's down with the pound as far as what sells in America so he autotunes the shit out of all his songs on such topics as: girls and taking girls to the movies. His debut album Hard to Be Up is in limited release and as of right now, you can only get it at an adult book store on a side street of Leeds St.



You gotta see his dope ass video for Take Ya to Da Movies. Click thru to get the lyrics exclusively here on Mumbletomyneighbor so you can be the first to spit'em on your local block's freestyle rap off. You can cop them as your own, he's still waaaay underground. But just wait, once this jam starts burning up the charts and is in constant rotation at Hot 97, you can say he stole them from you. Instant street cred, Yo! Word up!





LYRICS:

Yeah your boy bangs
And this track is dedicated to all the ladies out there that like to go to the movies
Especially you girl.
Let me take you to the movies, shorty
I’m sure later on you will be my baby.
Let’s just sit down be by my side.
I got the popcorn I know what else you like.

Hey shorty, you really looking nice
Let me take you to da the movies cause I know you like.
You got nothing to worry about
Hold the popcorn and the drink
Let me pay the money so we can get in.
Now hold my hand
and take a step to the door
Don’t fall
Lets sit on those two chairs alone
Watching a movie
So we can see whats going on.
If you like to watch you can lean on my chest
Take a rest do you r best.
Baby Girl
(Yehaw!)

Chorus

I hope you enjoyed the movie Cause I did too
Anytime you wanna go again, Just holla at me
Baby girl we can make it to be better than before
Anything you want me to do, I can do it for sure.
You can be my Cinderella
When it rains, you can stand under my umbrella
I know it make us feel better
I'm not like other boys
I'm a different guy
coming from the sky
I never lie
Just let me know if you wanna go somewhere
Yeah Boy!

Chorus
Hey shorty where you at where you going can I see you later
Cause I can see you busy right now meet me at the shop at 4 o’clock don’t forget and don’t be late
I can tell you what we do when you come back
I still remember what you told me take me to the movies Friday night,
that’s right what time it is now half past three my girl be back in about half an hour
let me go and take shower dress
good put some perfume so I can smell good

(Talks in baller voice)
Yea girl you can go to the movie any time you like
but guess who you gonna call your baby boy bangs
cause he still got chance you know I mean
(Yehaw!)
yeah yeah that’s right roll um

Sings softly
Let’s just sit down be by my side.
I got the popcorn I know what else you like.

Take a gander at bangs special girl:


For more Badasses, click HERE.

www.bangs8.com

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Amazing Tom Cruise Impersonation

And...no, he doesn't just jerk off to pictures of little boys. Dude is spot on. It's pretty funny. More »

Jungbauernkalender : German Erotica Farm Girls Calendar

The Germans are famous for finding things erotic that most people wouldn't dream of, only second to the Japanese. Hell, they find Hasselhoff wildly entertaining. He's a bestselling musician over there, even after this cover/video catastrophe: HERE.

Staying true to typical mumbletomyneighbor fashion, I add another weird but sexy installment to the slowly growing "Calendar" tag on this site with the only other previous post on this topic being "Russian Nuclear Power Plant Goes Nuclear." Yes, the Russians or Putin made a calendar to that features ACTUAL employees of nuclear power plants that were obviously never close to the powerfully destructive Chernobyl.

However, the girls in this calendar are ALL hot. The previous, only a smattering. The difference lies primarily in the fact that a professional photographer, Jungbauern, was commissioned to cast and shoot it. He picks his ladies well. In addition to his goats, chickens and cows. They are shot scantily in the natural environment in the most artistic ways possible for this shoot. Let's just say, 2010 will be a good year. However, according to dead Mexicans, 2012, will not. For this Hollywood film studio, at least. Just kidding, every jackass in America will see it. If that includes you, you should feel ashamed.

After the jump, every girl, month by month. The above photo is December, of course. I was able to find them without the watermark so you can print them out, Photoshop yourself into them, shrink them and place them in your wallet as a girlfriend photo or on the dashboard of your shitty car or place them in your Megan Fox shrine, whatever it is that weirdos do. There is no nudity but there are few topless women covering themselves with a baby goat. Just kidding. About the goat part. Maybe NSFW. Don't forget to click to ENLARGE.




































Buy It Here, I think?
<VIA>
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