Thursday, June 25, 2009

Russia Commercializes Pirate Killing for The Lifestyle of the Rich & Famous

I think this is Howard Hughes, he's rich, isn't he?

Cruises are awesome. I've never been on one, but I did see that movie with Al Pacino from 1980 where he goes undercover in the gay New York nightclub/sex scene. This involves about 2 hours of Pacino fighting with himself over whether or not he wants to give dudes blow jobs and have gay anal sex, if you know what I mean. The movie contains such classic lines as:

  • Patrolman DiSimone: C'mere. I wanna show you my night stick.


  • Stuart Richards: How big are ya?
Steve Burns: Party size.

But the point of this is that there is no point. Some Russian genius decided there was nothing against making a few rubles of the current pirate problem while combining some of the few things that Russian billionaires enjoy the most: pounding vodka, getting a tan and shooting guns. (replace the alcohol with whatever is local and you cover about 80% of the male population...)

Luxury ocean liners are now charging up to £3,500 a day to go out off the Somali coast and pirate hunt. You get to keep whatever you shoot! For an extra 5 pounds you can get an AK-47 for a whole day! Buy a box of a 100 bullets for 7 quid more! Hell, you're a billionaire, treat yourself to a case!

In order to promise the most action possible, the luxury cruise liner promises to troll at the speed of only 5 knots. Oh, and you're protected by a group of ex special forces troop. So yeah, you're bound to get a head to mount on the wall in your smoking den...

Oh yeah, and seeing as this is a post on the internet, Michael Jackson died. Oh, and it's Take Your Bitch To Work Day.

From Ananova via Wirtschaftsblatt

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