America is a weird beast. I am the first to admit this. I get scared of it and worried for it and hear my heart beat a different button for it. I worry and scream when it hurts and feel like it is worrying and screaming now. But unfortunately, I am retardedly patriotic. I mean that in the deepest sense of retarded patriotism. Just like I love in the most retardest sense of religion. I have no logic to support me, i just believe.
It is for this reason I give thanks. I have had a deep, dark past few months. Trouble has come knocking in a way that I cannot believe. I have felt shat on and lonely in all of lonelinesses glory. I gave up and drank my way to yesterday, hoping I would get there in two pieces, one being my father. I hoped so bad. I prayed the day before thanksgiving. That was too late. He was already taken care of. Regardless of me and my prayers, he was ok. It was because of his sister. A different type of angel. One that doesn't pray, but one that does, do.
It is for her that I am thankful. Thank you Shari. Thank you.
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